I can't get over something and I felt like I needed to write this out and maybe I'll feel better.

So we all know how I've always been annoyed with school. So just now I had another anxiety attack moment while discussing over some project because everyone was supposed to come out with a point and I was the last one left. They were stressing me out as hell and maybe it wasn't even that stressful but I just couldn't take it I wanted to kill myself

So when I was done with that shit the first person I wanted to relief this stress to was obviously my boyfriend. I told him about it, roughly, and the first thing he told me.... Was that I have a lot of fire in me. Well.... K? thanks? Not like I don't know already. I think you probably just added even more fire by saying that. 

I'm just like thinking why the whole world just don't understand sometimes I just need to vent it out and I'll be fine the next moment? Why people like to always make it worse for me? And then they blame me for keeping things to myself. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. When I'm sad or angry and I actually tell anyone, I get stupid remarks from people that was so unnecessary. When I decide to live in solidarity, they ask why am I being like that. What do you want me to be? Always happy? Do you think that's possible when I'm living such a stressful life? Do you think it's possible when sometimes I just need someone to hug all my troubles away and no ones there? I know my boyfriend cannot be there for me 24/7 im not even saying him. I'm just saying in general... Anyone I love. My parents my friends... 

Nah I'm just tired. I just need one week just one week of vacation. Away from this city. Away from people that drives me crazy... Away with someone I love just to enjoy the beautiful world that I haven't seen in so long...