Do you realised, that I've not been spending money on good food anymore? Not drinking Starbucks or coffee bean that much anymore? Not going on shopping sprees in the longest time ever? Not asking you for extra money for anything unless I really have no money? I haven't gone out in the longest time. I've already sacrificed so many things. 

I've told you way in advance about the graduation trip. Obviously I'm asking you to fork out first because I wouldn't have a job straight after I graduate! Even if I save its not enough to freaking go anywhere! Are you my mother or are you a stranger? If you want to do this then okay I'm just asking for a loan. Why can't you loan me first? Why are you fucking comparing me to your fucking generation again? Fuck -_- Sometimez I really wish I had to fucking guts to leave the god damn house. Just leave. 

I never understand why I need such a big house. Such a big fucking house with NO SUBSTANCE. Without this house you can afford so many more things in life. Don't tell me you no money okay fuck. No money still can go manicure and do hair every week. No money. No money still can think of buying a new car. Stupid or what?  

This is the thing with people who have money. They're selfish and stingy. What's with the people with no money? They're so willing to give all of them to people who're important to them and leave nothing for themselves... I just don't understand this. Why can't god be fair. If I had the kind of money my parents had, I wouldn't have moved out of our 7 room flat. I would have had the luxury to still buy clothes and shit. & I would still have enough to even donate to the people in need. 

And then you ask me why I feel like a stranger in this house. Because of this. I know it's only right to give a certain amount of your salary to your parents. You know what's one of the worst pet peeves? WHEN SOMEONE FORCES ME TO DO SOMETHING. or make it sound like its a MUST to do or else one of my legs will drop. Oh really? Becuz the more you do that the more I wanna go against you. 

Everytime I hear my mother talk to me about money she just sounds like a damn money monster to me. "In your first few years of your marriage life you guys will only think of the money because you are in debt. Why do you think couples will fight? Because of money. Why because of money? Because maybe he smoke too much. Because maybe you spend too much on clothes or good food." Er please. The only reason why you and your husband will keep fighting is because you're one uptight dramatic woman.

I just really don't like the way she talk to me. Sometimes I just ask simple questions only because I'm curious or I don't understand. She will give me answers like "Why you talk as if you never go school one?" FUCK IS THAT NECESSARY? And then you blame me for always not speaking up or asking questions? WHAT KIND OF UNNECESSARY ANSWER IS THAT.

I'm so fucking annoyed this week I swear. I will never treat my kid this way. Never. In. My. Life. I will never cane my kids(NEVER EVER.) I will never threaten my kids. I will never fucking treat my kid like a fucking stranger.

I just cannot understand her okay. I just cannot!!!!!! I wish I can record everything she say everytime and then put it in a file. Everytime she contradict herself at least I got prove that she really did. She's the most contradictory woman ever man seriously.