What a week. What a day.

Had the worst few hours of loneliness just now when I was at school. I never felt so hopeless and helpless in my life. Why the hell was my mother being so mean and insensitive over her texts? Why did she have to put me through her pms shit just before rehearsal? Just when XT told us to get ready I had to run out of the studio because my eyes free flow tears. Came back still feeling like shit but fuck it. 

After that we had to go have a debrief with the performance people so we went to D201.. The wait was so torturing. We waited for like 30min plus. To be exact I was waiting alone and I just needed someone to talk to so badly at that point of time. I was just hysterically spamming my brother because my boyfriend was sleeping, but he just wasn't replying until after 15min. 

After our debrief was done, I sat outside to wait for Becky because she had other things to do before accompanying me to get my stuff for my blazer. Used that time to tell spencer what happened. Of course I was emotional as hell. Shawn came out of the studio and just decided to sit infront of me and randomly ask me how was I. So we ended up talking for awhile and I can't believe I just broke down?! Just like that?! What.... Omg I can't believe myself. But half the time Edwin and him were having weird conversations that I couldn't understand. Edwin why are you so weird.... LOL your fans must really love you for your weirdness.. 

Yeah just felt really alone. Even when I was with Becky I felt like she just didn't wanna listen to my shit anymore especially because it was just about the same few people that has also given her shitloads of problems in the past. 

I'm so drained of emotions since Sunday... It's been 3 days already. Somebody give me a break. All of you. Well Spencer's awesome retarded video kinda really made me smile for that few seconds~~ .Thanks a lot really. 

I wish for a better month... A better week.. A better day..