Currently missing this pig alittle too much. Woke up at 5.30am this morning to send him off to Australia. But turned out I couldnt stay longer because sotong didnt know where the departure hall was.. Which obviously made me sad and I couldnt hide. It's another 3 weeks without him. Seems a little surreal because right now I still have my brother's accompany.. But once he's gone too back to Melbourne I'll be back to being all alone. Fucking sucks much!

Slept for like the entire day.. I kept dreaming that I was in Australia. Like what the hell. It feels like my close ones are suddenly all in Australia now like what the hell. I so want to go Australia right now :'( Can I please at least fly there to be with my brother if I cant be with my boyfriend? This sucks. 

Actually baby has only been back for like a week but I feel like hes been back for at least a month because I saw him almost everyday for the past week. Many things happened in this one week. Sometimes I can't figure out if meeting too much is bad..? You know I really cherish every single minute when I'm with him. Like to me it's so precious because there's only this little time with him. Call me unrealistic but like I just don't know I can't live a minute spent with him doing something not memorable. I mean I can, only if I know I can see him again soon like the next weekend.. But even then sometimes I feel like that's not enough. Time with him is never ever enough. But sometimes I feel like he doesn't treat me the same in the way like I do.

I'm always scared to lose him. I'm always scared to wake up one day and he'll stop loving me. We're not guaranteed tomorrow. Honestly. I don't want to wake up and realise that I haven't done or say something I wanted to do or say to him. 

"I found myself dreaming, in silver and gold, like a scene from every movie that every broken heart knows.

We were walking on moonlight and you pulled me close.

Split second and you disappeared and then I was all alone..

I woke up in tears with you by my side, a breath of relief and I realised, we're not promised tomorrow.

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you 

And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye 

Wherever we're standing, I wont take you for granted

Cause we never know when we'll run out of time 

So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you..

In a blink of an eye, just a whisper of smoke, you could lose everything.

The truth is, you'll never know

So I'll kiss you longer baby, any chance that I get

I'll make the most of the minutes and love with no regrets.

Let's take our time and say what we want.

Here's what we got before it's all gone.

Cause no we're not promised tomorrow."

- Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend (Like I'm gonna lose you)

The year is ending yet again. A part of me seriously can't believe how fast this year has passed by. It has truly been a..... not so pleasant year.. After many years I've realised no year will ever be like how we want it to be. There will always be ups and downs and the only difference is if there's more ups than downs or vice versa.. 

Honestly hope I get a place in SIM. I probably will feel like stressed and shit when school starts. But after being out in the society for like only 4 months I realised I cannot be stuck earning 1 over thousand or even if I get promoted maybe 3k. No. I am worth more than that and I do not wish to be stuck under stupid mangers that have no clue what they're doing. I'm pretty sure I can do much better than them and I will do better than them. Do not wish to be stuck with a bunch of retards who have no idea how horrible they are as people. 

I've officially graduated from LASALLE and now it's time to start my new journey. It's not a cheap one and hopefully money won't go to waste.. Sometimes I guess my parents are right. I can study it just really depends if I want it hard enough or not. For my future I guess it's time to wake up and put in some effort. As I grow older, people with brains are really much more pleasing in the eye than people who talk with no sense..... So yes I'm not gonna be the kind of idiot that has no brains and talk without even thinking. 

Time to wake up my idea!!!!! 2 more months to go to let Nancy torture me. Just 2 more. I can do this. I can. And then December my brother will be back. Then we will have our annual family overseas trip and also I'll be travelling with my dearest babyboy too. I'm honestly realllyyyyy excited because this is the first time I'm travelling with someone else other than my family members. & he is my boyfriend. I would love for it to be a memorable experience but like........ I'M SO SCARED TO HAVE EXPECTIONS T_T What if it doesnt turned out the way I want it to? Most of the time I can't hide my bloody emotions because outings always don't turn out the way I want it to and I get upset.

No expectations = no disappointments 

That's like the ultimate number one rule in my life 

But I always fail to not have any expectations. MEH

I miss baby.