What did I fucking say? Will shit ever fucking end? 

"Everyone needs to work tomorrow. Come back so late." 

I'm so fucking sick of this god damn excuse. Fuck off. Make the mother fucking keys for me. To you mother fucking 12 is late, to us it's not. 

Mother fucking horrible week. Just drowning in the god damn thought of why a mother fucking 21 year old like me still has a god damn curfew. Not only that, I still get scolded every time i come back. I'm so fucking tired!!!!!!! Like why the fuck do i bother talking sooooooo much, saying how i feel about shit when they don't fucking listen!? NOBODY FUCKING LISTENS TO WHAT I SAY. Because if you ever LISTEN SHIT WON'T KEEP REPEATING ITSELF OVER AND OVER AGAIN. 

I think they're taking turns to mother fucking torture me. This fire in me is just waiting for a right time to explode again. I'm so tired already. 

While everyone in my clique are having a nice conversation, there i am sitting alone thinking it's already over 10pm. I should be heading home where everyone else is in a middle of a god damn catch up conversation. I'm so sick of this. When I came back he said "Cannot even tell me a timing that you're coming back." So what are you trying to say? If I say a timing you'll let me stay out? If that's the case I'll fucking tell you a timing. Not only happened today, happened yesterday too. I kept on asking what time he'll be back!?!!? And he didn't give me a god damn timing too?! HOW IS IT MY FAULT. HOW IS IT MY FUCKING FAULT. He kept asking me to go over to find him BUT HELLO HE THINK WHAT. It's so fucking late and that's a god damn private estate it's not my fucking house and the time I been there myself I took a god damn cab. I VERY RICH ISSIT. 

I think i'm a god damn toy to everyone's eyes. Like everyone can fucking throw shit at me and I should be an angel and be fine with it. But whenever I flare whenever I get mad I AM THE BAD PERSON. I AM THE ONE THAT'S UNREASONABLE FOREVER NOT MAKING ANY SENSE. I'M THE ONE THAT SHOULD SAY SORRY. 

 I really don't feel like living. Really. I'm slowly reaching that stage I just don't feel like tolerating anyone's nonsense anymore. 我心里面很痛苦。真的。。我不想说心里在想什么。我只会哭。。我恨我自己。我恨我的生命。。我很想哭。。

"Just tired"

She muttered.

But you could tell it was not just a lack of sleep,

but a lack of hope and happiness that made her act the way she did.

我累了。