I'm currently in a very weird grey zone of my life between me and my parents. Somehow everything is falling into place, and yet at the same time, I feel like everything might be gone once a wrong move is made.

So I basically went out on Saturday night with my boyfriend and his friend till about 3ish when I got home. My dad actually didn't say anything? It was like he didn't even know what time it was. And everything was so normal after that too. It's just weird? It's like it has never happened before. It was such a huge risk that I took that night I swore to god. I wish I could do it more often argh. I just don't know. I just feel like there is more bond at night. Like people feel more emotional and close when the night arrives.

I also feel like I shouldn't take advantage of the privilege that's been given to me. BUT I REALLY WANNA GO OUT?

Guess what. The parents also finally decided to change the stupid lock on my gate. And now I have a key which I have no idea how to respond to that.. I DON'T KNOW WHEN GOOD THINGS COME BAD THINGS ALWAYS FOLLOW AFTER. IT SUCKS

I need some bonding time with my boyfriend. We're lacking so much of that. The right time needs to come again. Times when he chooses to randomly open himself up to me. Or make it seem like he really damn interested to wanna hear what I wanna say. Like deep talks. It gives me this chance of entering his dark world. Rarely that door is opened. Waiting for the next chance.