Back to reality

Hai. How did 2 nights of perfect life ended so quickly...

Was crying hysterically yesterday night knowing all the happy moments will come to an end after the staycation ends. Was crying cuz I wished so bad that everyday of my life we were just that happy together. I am so so sad just thinking how I can't rewind back to the past 2 days. I am so so sad. :'( Why can't everyday just be like that. And today JUST had to prove that I was right. I knew it.. I just knew once it ends we're back to reality..

I've been feeling so unappreciated. Like everything from his birthday "surprise" to his stupid phone incident that just happened a mere few hours ago.. Just before our staycation we fought. I was thinking why I put so much effort after looking at his Facebook status saying what he wasn't feeling happy cuz of the past few weeks. It's as if I was the one who created everything. Why the fuck I stress so much thinking whether he minded Picard or he really wanted Braun Buffel..

I was totally looking to how he responded when I booked the seafood buffet. I knew how much space his stomach had and I just thought it was the best birthday gift. And guess what, he was overwhelmed by the atas-ness over there and it just spoilt everything. I felt like I spoilt his birthday. Not only that but the entire day he just kept asking me how much was his wallet, how much was the food. DOES IT REALLY MATTER? Can't he put aside everything and just accept it graciously and just think of how much effort I actually fucking spent thinking for his damn birthday JUST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY OR BLESSED OR WHATEVER THE FUCK FEELINGS. I'm not putting that much thought into this post even though I totally should... But yeah I'm just too sad.

So sad.

Today his sister passed him another Note 4 because his spoilt. He spent 6 fucking hours cursing and swearing, not willing to ask or receive help from me. And it made me fume as time passed. Firstly because he failed not once not twice but many million times and he refused totally refused to accept the help that I so willingly gave a million times. So he thought I wasn't an android user so I know nothing and he knows everything huh? I fixed my mother's phone, I fixed my maid's phone. If he could just pass me the damn fucking phone everything would've been fixed in less than 2hours or 1hour or EVEN LESS. Secondly, if he let me fixed it we could've spent the last few hours like ENJOYING EACH OTHER'S PRESENCE before he books in. Thirdly, he had the audacity to say that I was shouting to him when he seriously had such mother fucking huge ego issues that I HAVE NO IDEA COME FROM WHERE. He could still tell me that he didn't ask for my help and told me to shut up and just seriously SHUT ME FUCKING OFF. I was so fucking mad. Even up till now I am. WHY MUST I FUCKING HELP, FUCKING PLAN FUCKING LIKE DO EVERYTHING TO THINK FOR HIM, ONLY TO GET SCOLDED AT, TO GET SHOUTED AT, TO NOT BE APPRECIATED AT FUCKING ALL.

DO I FUCKING DESERVE THIS. I was fuming even when I was bathing. I came out of the toilet and opened mother fucking Facebook and saw his post THANKING HIS GOD DAMN FACEBOOK FRIENDS FOR WISHING HIM WHEN THEY DID NOTHING. AND NO FUCKING CREDIT FOR ME AT ALL. NONE. N O N E. NONEEEEEEEE.

I'm done ranting. I'm a sad mother fucker. I'm so unappreciated I just wish to die. Either let me die or just rewind to 2 days ago. And let time be stuck there.