Hey

I feel like its been so long since I last post but no it's only been probably a week or so.

Recently my life's been pretty damn mundane. Maybe a lot of happenings but I guess it's been settled already so there's nothing much for me to update over here.

Me and Liqian drank at my place last Wednesday and it was such an awesome experience. Like I've never actually went to buy alcohol to drink with someone at home, ever (Even though there's a lot of alcohol at home). It was a super last minute decision because me and baby got into an argument and it couldn't be solved because of communication break down again.

I'm so used to writing everything in detail. I'm so used to making sure that I've got every point of mine written down. Whereas for Dylan his mind cannot process long paragraphs and is super selective in the words he see. Sometimes not even the sentences, it's the words. Like words that associate with unhappiness would probably be "Whatever" "Fine" "Yeah.". If I put those words into a sentence it might come out differently, like it wouldn't be like showing unhappiness already. But he only sees that one word and makes a whole different meaning out of that sentence. "Whatever you feel like eating" "You can do whatever you want if it makes you happy" These two sentences are used with "Whatever" but it does not mean it's an unhappy sentence. "Whatever" is just a longer and more descriptive word of "What".

Haha there are those days where I do get frustrated overtime. Because okay I get that he's busy. But like when someone points out a mistake that you've made in your wordings or something, the least you could do is probably like remember the mistake and not make it again right? For him I have to say at least 3-5 times. This shows that I can never ever be a teacher. Because students will drive me to my grave.

So yeah back to argument, yeah because of total communication breakdown we got into an argument. But surprisingly we managed to be calm and cool and he managed to try and put in the messages I was trying to get across. Which is awesome. I hope for more days like these where we can actually talk things out, be calm and actually LISTEN to one another. It's too damn obvious for Dylan when he just doesn't listen and when he does.

Haha there are days when I do think though, why do I attempt to always try and HELP someone out? Like really in general. It's like I've put him into my life so much so that when he does something that is morally or socially wrong, I become a mother and tries to correct him. I always forget that Dylan is Dylan, I am me. We have both grown up differently and there are many things that is out of my reach to change. I now understand why couples have to have things in common, have basic moral and social skills that they agree to. Many times we fight because we cannot understand how each other's mindsets are like. Even if socially 90% of the population gets what I'm saying, I always forget he will always be the 10% that doesn't.

Example. I've changed throughout my years. Through the people that have shaped me. And he has definitely been one of them. I don't diligently change myself but I just change as I experience new things new problems etc. But he's different. He has walked the wrong path before. He has met wrong friends in the past. He has somehow grown up wrongly. So for his case he has to diligently build up himself again to match the society.. He always think that I'm constantly trying to change HIM to another person but really it's just trying to tell him that he CAN be a better person to fit well into the society.

As much as we want to live in our own world. The society doesn't allow you to. If you do things that the society doesn't accept, you'll get laughed upon. Yes I understand "Don't care about judgements don't listen to what others say listen to yourself." But again, other people's judgements and thoughts will give you room to improve yourself. I'm not saying the downright "Fuck you i hate you" kinda comments. More like those "Hey your anger is getting out of hand" "Hey why the hell is he so unreasonable" "He need to be less lazy" These kinda comments are more constructive and you can actually use that to make yourself a better person. You're not changing to prove anyone wrong. You're using their nonsensical words as a push to make YOU yourself a better person.

Yeah I've finish my aunty lecture on life.

My legs are FULL of mozzie bites and I'm going a little damn insane right now cuz it's pain and itchy. MEH. And also I've learn how to cook normal things and I'm pretty damn proud of myself.