I get so upset over the smallest little things and I ask myself recently why I've let a guy taken over my life like that. Many times I just don't feel the same from him. And I don't even know why. I've been pulling back so these days and it sucks so bad because I've been feeling so so so empty. 

I reply his messages like immediately every single time and I ask myself why. I should've just replied him an hour later like he does most of the time. Why can't I seem to do it.. I feel shit, I really feel like utter shit. It takes so much effort to be this cold heartless girl. And I feel like crying. Because the love has never been equal for a long time and I feel like crying. I don't want to be the going to him finding for him anymore. I feel so needy and I hate it. I hate clinging on when he doesn't reciprocate. 

I want to cry.