I’m in so much pain 😭

Why must he do this to me.. Why.. How can someone who claims he loves me still do this to me.. Even I didn’t pull such bullshit to him.. Even when I was so fucking hurt when I broke up, i still gave him an open chance to prove himself.... 现在说散就散，说不见就不见.. 到底什么意思.. 我以为是跟去年一样.. 可是真的不同了.. 现在是他根本不想跟我有任何关系.. 为什么你那么狠心？我真的很伤心..

I really just want to get over this phase so bad... Every single day just gets from bad to worse... He told me to give him time and things would work out... He told me this break is not a bad break up because it’s supposed to make us better... When he’s better and gets back with me, it’d be permanent.. He told me it’s just time that he needs... How did it become “It won’t work anymore”.... How did it become him showing me zero concern... Deep down I know he’s not like that... But the things he’s saying really hurts me every single fucking day... I’m starting to believe that he really wants nothing to do with me... 😭😭 I don’t believe you don’t want to kiss me still... I don’t believe you don’t want to hug me... I don’t believe you don’t want to protect me.. I just fucking don’t believe.. 

How to be strong? To know someone who was in your life for so fucking long just decides to be FRIENDS with you?!!!! Why?! Am i not attractive enough anymore!? You finally saw what an ugly bitch I am and you just decide to ditch me???? I fucking hate this 😭

How can you want to be alone and yet hang out with ur friends....? You consider me as a friend yet you refuse to see me.. I’m so fucking upset.. I don’t know how to deal with this it’s so fucking painful.. So pain so pain... How am i supposed to watch you move on with another girl?! HOW? How am i supposed to fucking watch you live your life without me.... 😭😭😭😭😭😭 How can you fucking do this to me... 

I really just cannot believe. My heart is so fucking broken I don’t see a light to this.. 1 year... 2 years.... Every fucking thing I do reminds me of you.. Sobs... Where is the guy who’d feel so pain to see me in this state... Where is the guy who’d love me with all his might 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I fucking hate to do this alone.. 😢😢😢😭😭😭 Why do you keep saying one thing and mean another.. 😭 You just fucking said you love me yesterday.... And today you just made me feel like a worthless piece of shit that doesn’t deserve any of your love 😭😭😭 Help god... Please just show me the way..