Jar of hearts...

💔😔

I don't know anymore.. I have too much time to think.. Even when there's shit to do, at the back of my mind I still think..

He really doesn't care anymore.. Why doesn't he care..
Why does he love me yet he doesn't wanna care.. Shouldn't it be a natural already..
If I really give up.. Is this really the end of us..
What's there left to fight for.. 😭

If I don't text him he doesn't text me.. He just blue ticks me whenever now.. Using "busy" as an excuse like every other guy does to me.. I thought we were special.. I thought we could conquer everything.. I'm really.. So broken.. Why am I begging him to be in my life when he clearly doesn't want me anymore.. Why am I holding on to him when it's so so so... So obvious that it's over.. :'( This feels more torturing than being together.. At least when we were together he'd still talk.. Why am I forcing conversations when there's nothing left to talk about.. This is worst than friends.. That's why there can never be friends.. Cuz you just don't do this to a friend.. Or a lover.. U do this to someone u dislike.. U do this to someone who's an acquaintance.. U don't do this to someone whom u love so much.. If U need space then don't keep me around to let you treat me so coldly.. Every single reply.. Every single reply stabs my heart.. My heart breaks every single time. So wounded and just consistently stabbing me with every "ok"