😭😭😭 You honestly have no idea how I’m feeling right now.. I don’t know what’s with me suddenly being so attached after telling myself that I shouldn’t be like that.. Because who knows when you will leave me again and I’ll be all over the place again and feel all those shitty like hell feelings again.. It fucking sucks and they say only fools will let themselves feel it again. I’m supposed to be strong and stand by myself not feel so empty without you but it feels so natural to just wanna cling to you 😭😭😭

I know you’re going for a work trip and it’s been like the 5th time you’re going yet I just can’t seem to get used to it 😭 Now it’s even more different because even though we’re back together, me not seeing you for a few weeks just reminds me of how well you could live without me and just how much you pushed me away... It’s triggering all the wrong feelings and I thought I would actually be fine when you are gonna go australia. I don’t know why the moment you left I felt like I’m in pieces 😭

I’m scared of being the only one like that cuz i don’t want to be!!!!

All these flight feelings just reminded me how fucking shitty i felt when i went Bangkok..... so fucking shitty it’s impossible to even comprehend and right now even if you wanted to console me it’s fucking impossible until 14th october or even later... 😭😭😭😭 Even though you tell me it’s different now and tell me not to worry, I can’t stop myself from feeling all of these because those emotions were so real and baby I’m so scared... 

Right now my bed feels so fucking empty without you... Sometimes I think I’m fucking crazy to be feeling so much for you because it drives me crazy also and I don’t know why I can feel so much for someone. I really think I’m nuts no joke. This is impossible.. I’m having too much withdrawal..