Lousy much?

Hi yes i'm back and my feelings right now is just ejmsrklvnfcselcw.

Work was just blah whatever. Left the place at 1.30 because I was gonna meet Andrea first then the rest. Haha she somewhat reminds me of Sitifarah.. Met the rest and then we were pacing back and fourth thinking if we should go Costumes Connection first or wait for Joey, who whatsapped us saying that she'd be late. Ended up going to that place first. Bought 2 more leotards and this contemp socks thingy. $70 fly~~~~ Went to get Koi after that. Wow fyi i survived on only drinks for the whole day.

Class was not very good... Teacher kinda made us do the 1 thing i suck at the most; Jumps. I really don't know how to jump sigh. I feel so heavy like an elephant and that makes me fucking depressed. Well technically i'm kinda the biggest in class but STILL?! Why can't i bloody jump like a dancer. Makes me so mad. Boohoo when will i ever be graceful like the others...

We were supposed to have dinner after class but somehow everyone else had like stuff going on and I, didn't feel like eating so we went separate ways. Cher, Andrea, Joey, Luvenia and I walked to Dhoby. Talked about heights and boobs and the typical girl stuff. Yes i still hate my boobs. Yes i still can't understand why guys in Singapore are so SHORT. Hahaha...

That feeling. That feeling of lonliness even though you're surrounded by so many people. Yes i've been feeling that the whole day. It's like i just can't fit in and i feel so ................... 1. Size issue is really making me mad. 2. My un-flawless skin is making me even madder. 3. The fact that i look ugly with my fringe up makes me even even even EVEN madder. I feel like i don't look like a dancer. Maybe because i'm not a ballet dancer and i don't have that graceful feel to my body. I just don't know. Everyone's so girly and pretty-ish and i'm just wtf. Need to learn how to feel pretty, how to be confident, how to be brave. My lack of self-esteem is really killing me, bit by bit.

(Left to right)

Sonia, Joey, Jingwen, Andrea, Me, Louisa, Luvenia.

This is so unglam for me but owell the rest looked good.

Yay beautiful!

This is so random but I saw some photos of 2NE1 at their concert and i'm sooooooooo starstrucked. Hahaha pretty girls i just love them.

Oh my beautiful girl idols oh so beautiful

To end off the post, i shall post some of my August wishes. Yes it's 1st Aug tomorrow. How time flies like crazy fast. In a blink of an eye, i'd be having holidays again. LOL.

1. To freaking be more graceful.

2. To slim down 5kg (i swear idk how but i'll try)

3. SLIM DOWN

4. SLIM DOWN

5-10. ALL SLIM DOWN

End of story :B

Not so bad

Went to work as usual this morning. Nothing interesting happened. Oh Kel's friend came over in the morning. When they left, he tagged a photo of her on facebook and her name was SHANNY TAN.... LOL made me laughed so hard. Kel should've made us introduced each other. Would be so cute~ :B

Left earlier because i needed to go and collect my student pass. So here it is; BAM!

Like i finally have a freaking student card?! Hahaha i feel like i did not own a secondary student pass because from sec1-sec2, i lost mine. Then sec2-sec4, it wasn't activated and when i went to activate it, it lost after a month or so. Seriously ezlink cards always hate me.. I just hope i don't lose this one because I do not have anymore passport photos and i DO NOT wanna take another passport shot. LOL.

Had some bonding sessions with Louisa, Priscilla, Melissa, Sonia, Luvenia(OMFG I REALISED ALL THEIR NAMES ENDS WITH A...) and Jingwen before class. Totally cute. They are actually very cute. Priscilla kinda looks like Klaryce. & Jingwen looks like my dance junior Zhining... Like the resemblance is uncanny..

Andrea came!!!! ANDREA CAME!!!!!!! When i saw her i totally went like "YAY OMG SHE'S COMING LASALLE!!!" Cuz.... She didnt turn up for orientation classes for the past 5 days. I asked her why and she told me she went for holiday. Well i thought so~

Class was technically alright... Melissa kinda added in afew more steps to the across-the-floor routine and yeah, i need to go through it right after i post this. Will probably be able to get it right by tomorrow. My thighs hurt like there's no tomorrow. Like seriously pain. PAIN!!!!!

Walked to dhoby with Cheryl and Cher. Then since Cher and I were going Serangoon, we had chances to know each other better during the train ride. She just graduated from Simei ITE. So i kinda had similar things to talk to her about. I told her about the eyecandy of mine that actually noticed me. She told me she might actually know him cuz they are the same batch. Yeaaaaaah she gave me the permission to stalk her faceboook MUAHAHAHAH... -major evil laugh i'm sorry-

I've just seen my time table. It's just so funny. LOL I've got Yoga, Pilates and WUSHU???? Oh my god i'm laughing. But it's very confusing cuz Melissa kinda squeezed the BA students' timetable and ours together so it's CONFUSING! I'm just gonna wait till i get the final copy.

I have no idea why we were all doing the same stretches.. LOL.

Don't ask me why the photos are so damn bad in quality. It wasn't taken by my phone...

Then Luvenia came in and took photo with her back camera and it actually turned out so well.... LOL Awesome skill she have.

Hopefully i'll have a better day tomorrow!

P.S: Andrea's texts are so cute i'm just having this face for awhile already ^O^

Magic

Why do i always dream right before i wake up!?!? It's been happening for the past few days already! It's because of my dreams that i keep getting up late!!! & everytime i'd be like "dang i've got the whole night to dream and i just have to dream right before i need to wake up?! what shit is this." I know i dream right before i wake up because usually i'd be semi awake when i switch off my alarm. Brain tells me to continue sleeping for 5 minutes more and subconscious mind will use that 5 minutes to dream. & if the dream is awesome, mind will drag it till 30min-1hour. THUS CAUSING ME TO WAKE UP LATE. Gawd.... but on the plus side, yesterday's dream was a rather pleasant one. I can't remember it at the moment. Guess i've forgotten about it. -_- It was in my head when i got up! Sigh forget it~

Went to work today. So boring. No people at all. Why did Kel even bothered opening the shop..... Slacked at the shop the whole time, using his airbook. God i swear it's just so hard to use the mousepad. Sneaked into the iTea facebook page to stalk some regular facebook pages. Thought i'd hit jackpot but his mousepad made things so hard for me. So yeah no success to my stalking this time. Boohoo.

Went to J8 to find Geraldine in the afternoon. She gave me this SHINee metal bottle and this KHJ pouch that i SERIOUSLY love as my birthday present oh my god. So handsome~~ -heartshaped eyes- She told me she had a hard time finding present for me. Is it that hard to find a present for me? LOL?! (Do NOT say i have everything cuz i DONT have everything.) K whoever who wants to get me a present and doesn't know what to give..... You can get me a 1. Wallet. 2. BELT. 3. Kate Spade laptop casing?! Lol...~ I should probably put a wishlist somewhere next year so people can get something that i'd use. :B

Nothing to do at J8, so we went to AMK, planned to play pool. But when we reached there i suddenly craved Anderson's so we went there. Honestly the food wasn't up to my expectations lol. So boohoo whatever. Walked around AMK for no reason... Had nothing to do. So i was whining... Then we passed by this Spa and Slimming place and i just randomly said "Let's go there!" LOL who knew we actually went because they were kinda having some promotion thingy...

Interesting....~ Went to get Koi after that then went home. But i saw Alexea Kahsiang Aaron Jiazhen Edwin and Xinni before i left. Haha all of them wished me belated birthday.

On the bus, this girl must have smoked before coming up to the bus. I swear the cigarette she smoke is EXTREMELY smelly. It's so pain in my nose i swear i almost vomitted. After that when there were empty seats, she and her boyfriend went to sit together and started arguing. I'm just there like "...."

The wind was super cold when i was walking home. It was about to rain at that time. Awesome~

A day of coincidences

Hi darlings, how are you? I'm back with another wordy post. Haha. Just pardon me. I just really love writing nonsense. It makes me feel like i've just talked to someone. & I like it.

I went to work late today. Actually Kel told me not to come. Cuz if i did there'd be like 4 people in the shop and that's really overcrowding. After a short chat with him he told me to come after 1pm since the aunty would leave the shop at 1. So i said ok~ Haha. I overslept! I was supposed to wake up at like 10plus11. But.... I woke up at 12pm and got a shocked so i rushed, as usual.

Reached the shop at 1.30pm~ Stayed till about 3.30pm and went for orientation. Bumped into Sheryl, one of my classmates, on the way there. She lives at Pasir Ris. & i came from Simei..... We might have been on the same train all the way.. What a freaking coincidence.

Class wasnt very bad today. Melissa's class is so much less stressful than Susan's i swear my life upon this. Susan makes me feel so hopeless and useless and pathetic. Yes she's like Miss Shining. But her pace is really like what i said previously, 10 times faster... I think she teaches the higher levels, probably the degree students since she keeps talking about them, and keeps thinking we are able to be as fast as them but we can't!!!! Especially not me! As for the friends issue, i still can't see myself being good friends with any one of them... I feel like they have already made a new friend and they kinda know who they are gonna stick with for the next 3 years and i'm just hanging.... My mate would totally be Aglin.... Why did god do this to me.... I'm just so sad everytime i think about it, really. I kinda know that there are like 10 over people missing from the orientation class so i'm kinda hoping my "friend" will be in that 10 over people... I really don't wanna be alone. I really don't wanna go through this whole emo bullshit again.

Went home after class. Bumped into AJ, another classmate of mine, while i was walking home. We looked at each other and went like "You live here?!" LOL. Well he don't exactly live around my area but yeah.... Still not that far away. He took the bus while i took the train. What the hell what is this coincidence about!!!

Continued walking home and i saw this super duper cute pomeranian that looked soooooo familiar. Then i looked at the person holding it and it was freaking Winnie. Oh my god Hero recognised me from far!!! He was jumping and twirling around and kept looking at me. How cute!!!!!

Everywhere's aching. I kinda miss this feeling. Haha, i'm about to go to bed since i have work tomorrow. Goodnight people. Tomorrow will be a good day. (pyschoing myself......)

Stressed

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy. 

Yesterday was so hot! Everyday's so hot and i hate it!!! It's been burning my face. Yeah so bloody hot. I hate you sun i fucking hate you. I really wish someone would be like Houyi, the guy who shot down the 9 other suns, to shoot down the remaining sun. I really don't understand him. Stupid guy. You have one last sun to shoot. WHY DIDNT YOU?! I rather live in a place that is like bloody cold and go around looking for heaters. If i had to choose between dying in the heat, or freezing to death, I RATHER FREEZE TO DEATH. Can't believe i'm a summer baby yeah? I can't believe it either. -_-

Kel bought me a mini cake to celebrate my birthday that they didn't know about yesterday! It's so cute!!!!

Before that, Christopher came into the shop and ordered Taro drink. Kel was the one taking orders so he asked Kel who was gonna make the drink. Chris complained to me that the taro milktea Kel made was very diluted. SO! I made his drink and gave it to him. I test-drank it before giving it to him. He told me it wasn't nice and told me to remake. Who was he trying to bluff man.... HAHA but yeah i know he's just trying to be funny. So it was after i made his drink that Kel took out the mini cake. They even sang me birthday song la, make me so happy.

Chris: Need to sing birthday song not? I shy leh~

Kel: Sing la of course sing let's sing!

So after they sang, i started to eat my cake and Chris left. So he walked to the right at first. Then suddenly he walked back, going towards the left and started singing happy birthday, looking into the shop. LMFAO SOMEBODY SAID HE WAS SHY....

Oh and i don't know why Chris is just seriously..... ABNORMAL. The weather was so bloody hot and he was actually wearing a jacket. I look at him with the one eyebrow up, one eyebrow down face. On days when it's cold and i wear jacket, he looks at me and say, "very cold meh? cold until must wear jacket meh?" WHAT THE HECK..... LOL.

Orientation was not bad yesterday. Like at least i started talking to some of the classmates. & alot of not so hard routines.

Today is a whole different story. Work was frustrating. Kel was gone most of the time. I'm left with the aunty, who doesn't know how to make drinks. So i make all the drinks. When there are waffle orders, she'd stay inside the damn kitchen cuz she's afraid the waffles would get burnt. WTF THERE'S A BLOODY TIMER. It'd ring and that stupid waffles won't get burnt. HENCE, she is not needed in the kitchen. Argh i really don't know what to say i just don't like working with people that are at least 3 times my age. We just can't click. When Kel was back, he could tell i was frustrated. LOL he even said, "I never use specs i also can see you super frustrated lor!" (He left his specs in the car how smart right, i know.) YOU BET I AM. But he tried to make me smile so i was happy after that.

But just when i started getting happier, HE WAS GONE AGAIN! & came back so late! I was supposed to leave the shop to go for orientation at 3.20! But i had to stay till 3.50 because Kel came back so late! But i couldnt be angry with him.... Cuz he brought me chengteng. HAHA I ate it on my way out and wow that thing has got some magical effect man. Eating that under the sun is just perfect. Immediately cools you off, i swear upon that.

Met up with Aglin. YEAH SHE FOLLOWED ME TO CLASS!!!! & Stayed throughout the lesson too! Today's class was just horrendous. Susan was taking our class today. At some points i could feel the Shining vibe but everything goes like x10 faster. Bam bam bam i was just so stressed and confused and even more stressed.

Struggled so much when ballet comes in. Some of the contemp routines she taught us include the fifth position and plies and stuff and i just couldn't get it right. Like my leg just can't immediately go to the fifth position. I can't fly like a bird. I can't hop gracefully. Totally stressed the fuck out of me cuz she was moving at an extremely fast speed and at least half the class got it. Some even looked like they were in the school for years.

Tears totally came out of my eyes right after the class. Aglin came to me like a sister and asked how were things. Seeing her made me feel like i should just cry it all out but once again, how could i.... It's only the beginning. Squeezed my tears back into my eyes and thought of things that could make me forget about the stressful stuff for awhile.

Yes food. Went to Pastamania for dinner. Talked alot. Then went Bugis Street. My plan was to find a new school bag then head home. But we ended up walking around bugis street after buying my bag. So i passed by this shop that sells this cardigan that i wanted the previous time i went there. It was still there and i haven't been spending money!!! So i decided to get it! HAHA. Bought Soya beancurd at this random store on the street because this person just gave me this small lil cup of beancurd to try it out. It was nice so i went to buy. Wanted to only get 1 but he said buy 3 cheaper. So i bought 3. Aglin said I'm the kind of people sales people love. LOL yeah yeah yeah Chris said that too. So the guy started asking if i was schooling and stuff. Before i could even answer, he answered himself, "Uni?" I almost choked. DA FUCK DO I LOOK SO OLD..... I gave him the WTF look and he said "Oh JC?" I still gave him the wtf look and he said "Poly ah?" I'm like "NO Lasalle." Bla bla bla he was just trying to tell me to promote his soya beancurd to schools or stuff. I don't know what he was saying honestly. So i just said YEAH YEAH OKAY CYA BYE! LOL. Well at least he thought i was smart. So it's okay.

 Went to Bugis+ (previously called Iluma) and went to Aeropostale because they had sale. The sweatpants were like on a freaking 50% discount!!!! Instead of paying freaking $70 i got it for half the price ohmygod~ I bought 2! & Aglin bought 2 too. Walked around...... The Bershka at bugis+ is so WHITE. The one at Ion is so BLACK so i was kinda shocked. Haha. Went in and i saw this super cute top that was on sale too. It was initially $40 but i bought it for freaking $17!!!! So happy.

I had enough things to hold.... I couldn't spend anymore so we decided to go home. Haha. Not bad. Food + Retail therapy. Kinda threw away my sadness. Right now, i gotta go find out where on earth can i take ballet classes outside and all those nonsense. Yes. Work hard. I will.

Roller coaster ride

Hello... I kinda think god really knows how to plan my emotions well. First he'll make me so happy and then boom boom boom, sad as hell.

Yesterday was my birthday. As usual, the facebook spams. Afew long long messages from the usual. Geraldine and Jazreel especially. Not forgetting Jai who dedicated THREE tumblr blog posts to me! AND YVONNE, who freaking sent a TEXT from Australia! Yes a TEXT. Not a twitter mention, not a facebook post, not a message on Whatsapp. Other that that..... Well nothing very special. My day wasnt very special actually.

Went to work as usual yesterday. Kel didnt know it was my birthday. I kinda expected him to see my posts on facebook. Like i've been liking and saying thankyou to those who posted on my wall. There were so many of them!!! I"m sure it'd appear on all my friends' newsfeed what! He was using his laptop and telling me "Shanette...... so boring....." LOL what the shit. Usually our customers are malays. Like half of them are malays. So now fasting has started. The number of sales dropped extremely. He's been so lame. WHY. I think i've said so many times..... But seriously it's only recently that he's been starting this lame thing....

OH YA. So he was using his laptop and i'm sure he used facebook! BUT HE DIDNT KNOW IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY STILL? Unbelievable. Ok i went along with it and didnt tell him at all. Went off for dance orientation at 3.30pm and after class, i received a text from him. "Walao.. Happy birthday lor!" LOL ok i think only i get this joke. So i replied "LOLOL you damn slow la seriously. HAHAHA" & his reply was "laaawwwwllll" K i said before i use LOL in real life too. I pronounce LOL as LAWL and i'd usually drag it. LOLLLLLL~ Like this. After that his lameness kicked in again after i replied him. I started my replied with LOOOOOOL ... ... Then he replied back "You wanna go toilet ah. Loooooo so long" LMFAO LAMESHIT. So i entertained his joke for little while. I typed SEMO and he said "No semo. You think NEMO ah." ......... speechless. HAHA.

Dance Orientation was okay.... Had ballet class. Very basic yet i'm still so blur. YEAH OF COURSE I'M BLUR. If my vision is blur, I'M BLUR. But Melissa, one of the girl who went to the audition on the same day as me, was a great help!!! Cuz i was like the last at the bar so if i were to do the other side, i'd be the first. & I had no one to copy so i kept getting it wrong. Melissa was behind me saying right left half point all those stuff. SO HELPFUL! Was one of the few to be called for stay back for a little extra lesson because YEAH. Teacher could tell i was struggling. Haha.

Went back home after that and ate cake. Lol obviously. So my day just passed like that. My birthday ended off with a chat with Jonas and Jazreel and it was hell of an awful chat. I could honestly say its the worst birthday ever.

iTea was so quiet today. When i reached there, the count thingy was only at 5. So yeah it was pretty normal, until Christopher came to buy drink. I'm no longer doing the cashier work. Like cuz there's this aunty who's gonna be doing it forever so Kel ask me to stop doing it. Chris came, and told the aunty, "Oreo TEA". Our menu have no Oreo TEA. Only Oreo Milk Tea. Aunty was new there so how would she know. LOL I look at him and asked him to repeat his order. When i heard what he wanted i went like "wtf you and your stupid orders." While he was paying for his drink, he asked me how was my orientation. My first reaction was supposed to be "HOW THE HECK DID YOU KNOW I HAD ORIENTATION YESTERDAY?" but instead, i said it was fine. LOL?! After saying it was fine, i realised it was funny because i didnt tell him about it. Kel told him it was my birthday yesterday. LOL another idiot who didnt know and he wished me happy birthday. Then he took whole cookie jar at the bar there and said "Na give you this. HAHAHA" Talked a little while and he went to sit down with Andy and left.

Place was so quiet again. Kel went out to the bank. Yes Kel is still being lame with me. I think he wants to take all the chances he's got to irritate me so once i leave he'll miss me. HAHAHA. Shit i'm getting his lame disease.

Kevin then appeared out of the blue and wished me happy belated birthday. He was the only customer in the shop, emoing alone there after he got his drink LOL. After awhile, Chris came back, like a happy small boy. I have no idea why he's so happy today. He kept talking to me and being irritating with me! Asked me about orientation again and we talked about dance. HAHAHA totally laughed my ass off. He told me he came back to find boss but he's out so.... yeah he waited there with Kevin. Both of them were just noisy... Kevin has been an ass the whole time he was there. To think i still treated him to waffles wts. Then Chris saw my wallet at the table there and asked if it was mine. I nodded and he just took it and when i wanted to take it back, he attempted to run away. Omg happy small boy really. Kel came back after that and Chris realised he came for nothing because Kel said it was nothing. Unfortunately, the girl who's been saying that she likes Chris, Nathalie, came into the shop. L-O-L Couldnt stop laughing. Only Kel and I knew what was going on. Chris went to hide at the sofa area. Oh my god la but i'm sure she saw.... Hahaha super funny.

So that happyboy95 even asked me if i was taking MRT to Lasalle. I told him yeah and he said he will take the train with me cuz he's gonna go back home too. WOW? THIS IS LIKE..... THE RAREST THING ON EARTH? I changed and everything then we got out of the ite together. Wow talked so much. Unbelievable. The thing is he actually didn't really irritate me on the way. Can't all the days that we take the train together be like that!? He just felt so different today. I felt like he was more than just a colleague today. A friend. Ah maybe cuz it's gonna be my last day soon. Ok ok...

Went for orientation and saw Melissa outside the studio. Haha. Had contemp today with the orientation leader, who's also called Melissa. She's so cuteeeee and bubbly and aw she's just so cute. I think i was stressed the whole time. Cuz she asked me why i had the worried look on my face TWICE. I feel so..... out of place all of a sudden because of those some of the girls in the class treated me. They don't smile at me?! They can talk to the rest like they've known each other for quite awhile and when they see me, they just look away. I fucking hate it when that happens. So it made me thought of what's gonna happen for the next few years and who am i gonna stick with...

Leader Melissa kinda went through what's gonna happen for semester 1 and it sounds like fun. Yes fun only if i have someone to share my joy with. My schedule is gonna be like mostly 8.30am - 7.30pm... If there are guest artists, lessons will be extended to 10pm. Wow? & i'll have to like bring 3 different clothings everyday...?! Ballet stuff is a must because i'll have ballet class everyday. Then contemp/whatever module i'll be having, that's another clothing. & the last, to look presentable for written/theory classes. LOL. Also, i'll have to like block out my Friday night because usually that's the night where the class go for shows? Oooo....... I really hope i make new friends soon....

Right things happen at the wrong time

Alright so i went Oeuvre VI yesterday with my fellow cliquemates. It was a really awesome experience. I love the whole Oeuvre story theme thing going on last night. Saw many familiar faces yesterday. It was like prom all over again.. Can't really say that i'm very close with everybody but the feeling of home was there. It's been such a long time since i've seen that. Like the last time i felt that way was, yeah, PROM.

Bellda, the girl who taught me my first technique 3 years ago; Pas De Boure~

Sitifarah, my sexy dance partner~ Miss Shining never fails to pair me up with her. I think she feels that our chemistry is there. -Coughs-

Playful Vasu who took my phone and camwhored himself and then told me he was looking at some photos. YEAH RIGHT.... LOL

Dinesh~ The guy who keeps calling me Sanittu. Seriously so ugly name...

Vasu~

LOL Charlotte's bf; Apple. There was a story behind this photo only Jai and I know HAHA.

Scandalous~~~~  

Afew of the dancers from BPS; Class of 2011!

My clique, without Yvonne and in addition of Mary and Vasu.
(Andy's a perv. Look at what the leg did to my skirt)

Came home with my eyes red again. Yeah... Something's wrong with my eyes i swear. But i'm afraid to go to a specialist. Later he/she tells me some part of my eye tissue is damaged or what and i can never wear contacts again, I'LL CRY. Like i'm seriously very dependent on my contact lenses.... So i did what i'm best at, escape from the problem lol.

For 2 consecutive nights, i slept at 2 and woke up at 9. I look at the clock and i'm like SHANETTE IT'S YOUR LAST FEW DAYS OF HOLIDAYS YOU SHOULD SLEEP WHILE YOU CAN. But yes. I had to wake up at 9. -.- Yesterday, i manage to sleep in till 12 even after waking up at 9. But today, MAJOR FAIL. I woke up at 9 and continued sleeping. Then woke up again and it was 9.20. Then woke up again and it was 9.23. I'M LIKE WADASHITTTTT forget it i shall just wake up.

Yeah felt sleepy the entire day. I'm stressing inside. I feel it. My pimple keeps growing as the time passes lol i'm so bored and lame till i can even feel it growing wtf i know. Fuck i just can't believe tomorrow's 23rd July. Yes i look forward to the orientation. But with this pair of eyes? Fuck. I really don't know what to say. It will totally spoil my mood. I know it! Unless something bloody funny happens during work tomorrow(which i doubt so -_-), i'll be a zombie by 4.30pm. ARGH!!!!! T_T

Just sad. Really sad. I really want my eyes to recover. I really want it to.

No one knows me.

Where should i start? I don't know if i should start talking about my own feelings first or describe my day. Ok i think my day is more important.

Yesterday was a rather..... tried-to-be-hyper-but-fail-terribly day. Nothing very interesting happened yesterday. The only thing that i could remember was this group of 3 people, 1 of them whom i recognise cuz he always come and buy from the shop, were being hyper among themselves while ordering drinks. So their drinks were my first drinks of the day to be made. There were many soda flavours and this regular didnt know which to choose and did not trust Kel's taste. LOL i was beside Kel so he asked me instead. I told him blueberry. So he bought blueberry. When i made for him, he stared at me and didnt wanna say anything. I was so afraid he has the taste buds of Chris', which is bloody hard to please fyi. He just kept sipping on the drink and look at me. After i made the other 2 drinks, they were still there talking to Kel. When Kel went away, this guy told his other two friends that the blueberry is nice. HEAVED A SIGH OF RELIEF. PHEW~

 I went to take a seat, which is right infront of the 3 people. Suddenly out of the blue this guy asked, "How old are you?" I gave him the shocked face and in my mind, i went like "O_O what.... you're talking to me?" I think he kinda caught my shockness so he repeated his question. I told them i was 17 and then the girl, his friend, exclaimed..... Actually everyone exclaimed. " 17?!? 17?!?!?! SEVENTEEN!?!?!??!?! HUH DON'T LOOK LIKE. O_O!!!!" What. The. Heck. Do i look so old..... What freaking big reaction is that! Their reactions totally changed my mood from zombie to awake mood man. Then he started to ask for my school and all those LOL what the hell. 

After that the rest of the day was just dead. . . Plus freaking boss kept texting I-D-K-WHO and then i end up having to do everything by myself. :@ Boring shit.

Went to have dinner with Jai at J8's Pizzahut yesterday.

Told her the Mogurt story and, STILL, i couldnt stop laughing. Seriously laughed to the extent tears came out. Omg why am i so silly. HAHA. So i had a great night. I couldnt sleep the previous night due to excessive thinking (as usual) but i conked out immediately last night. It's always like that recently. If there's a night where i just can't bloody sleep, the next day i'll be all moody and cranky and shit, then pass out immediately after bathing.

I went to work today, as usual. Boss was being lame lame lame LAME. He was trying to imitate Xuejun. Usually if i accidentally spill something or do something "loud", Xuejun will say, "You not happy ah? Not happy say la." So he was blending the cocoa powder just now. Then there was an order so he left the blender on for so long. It was hella noisy. I was just beside the blender doing another drink. So i switched the blender off. Kelvyn said that exact same line. I'm like WHAT THE LOL how much lamer can he get. Usually i'd say "bitch you stop being a bitch k" to Xuejun if she tells me that. So Kel knows and he told me "Why!? You gonna call me bitch? Not happy say la!" LOL!!!! I mean obviously he's joking he still has that stupid cheeky smile. Then when there was no more crowd, he introduced this game called Sneezies to me. Lame but addictive game. Obviously it's a game for small kids. He told me he played this with his nephew HAHAHA.

After that Chris came. Oh god that dude is just really out to drive me insane. He bullied me the whole afternoon i swear. I can't believe my llama joke is so funny. I said llama and he actually laughed. C'mon if you know me you know that i can hardly make jokes nor make people laugh. Had lots of random conversations. Bloody hell it's not like he himself is very clean if he works alone. Then today he just keep telling me to clean this clean that. T-M-D i really wanna murder him. Like wtf i work from Monday to Friday and this bastard only works on Friday. Even on Friday he don't wanna do anything. Mop and sweep floor also i do. What is wrong with him. Really honestly, he is the most ungentlemanly guy i've ever met. Actually no, i've met alot of ungentlemanly guys except those people, i don't even bother talking to them since i don't see a need to. I told him my fingers hurt and I don't wanna touch water as much as possible. Then he didnt believe me. What the omg speaking of this just really makes me boil. At first it was entertaining. Like yeah i'm still in joking mood. But when he started pushing it too far, that's when i burst.

Kel went for a swim and came back when it was almost 5. Yeah at that time i was still pissed with Christopher (in my heart?) and didnt bother entertaining his lame jokes anymore. So I just did everything instead of wasting my time crapping with that bitch that doesn't wanna do anything. I don't know how Kel knows i'm angry with him LOL? He was like "Why you so angry with Chris today?" Gawd.

Chris and Kel were like refilling the fructose thingy so i didnt mop inside. I left the mop and bucket there. After they finished their business, Chris said "Ok la i go mop floor." I told him i mopped and sweeped outside already. He replied me, "Wa so hao xin (kind-hearted in chinese) ah!" I'm like "WTF THEN LIKE YOU SO HEI XIN (black-hearted) AH?" Kel laughed and that catty bitch have got nothing else to say.

Went separate ways. Leg is aching so badly really. I think i stand too much.

I hate how i don't know how to prioritize things. I might think this is important, but to someone else it might be bloody not important or things like that. I really am gonna miss the bubbletea shop. To me, there's this sense of attachment to it. I've been there everyday since April. To Kel I might just be a staff. And to him, staffs just come and go. So yeah... I try my best to like cut down on being so emotional and all this shit but lol, i'm still me and attachment this kinda things never fail to get into me. PLUS, this is my first actual job. Lol.

Today is my actual full last day. From next week onwards i'll only be there till 3.30pm. I won't be closing the store like i've always been doing. Somehow i have this feeling of being unappreciated and taken for granted of. I do everything. Yes i get paid but HELLO I DON'T GET PAID ALOT? But i'm willing to do everything. At least show me some appreciation? I just feel sad that some people can just let go of something so easily. Maybe cuz their guys and i'm a girl. I'm just sad. Everything's like cooped up in me again. Yes stress is showing on my face once again. Acne is back.

I hate goodbyes. I can never deny this fact. Everytime when it comes to goodbyes, i will fucking tear. I just hate goodbyes k i hate it. Now i have to say goodbye to this shop. Even if i'm gonna come back and work next year, things wouldn't be the same. The regulars would have already graduated. Christopher might not be working there anymore. Kel might have new staff whom others might love even more.

I really don't know how to describe myself. I really don't. I'm just so stressed. I passed by my holidays thinking I'd start school well because i've already made friends with my classmate, Aglin. All of a sudden, she is gonna defer due to surgery and i'm standing alone. I'm in a mess right now. Like I don't want next week to come. I want to continue working until Aglin recovers (obviously this can't happen) I'm so scared of what's to come. No one's fucking here for me. I can't fucking tell anyone how stressed I am. I don't know how. Why the fuck don't i have a friend who knows me at least 90% well? Bloody pathetic. I see those posts on facebook about best friends and i'm like what the fuck that FRIEND(whoever this is, it's just any friend i've met in my life) doesnt even know anything so she's not considered a best friend. Then i think, does anyone even KNOW me?! NO obviously not cuz i'm building a wall infront of myself.

Aglin once told me before, in a message, that she didnt know me at all. I mean, usually i know people more than people know me because they like to tell me their problems and i'm just over here "wow that makes me know this person even more and deeper than before". I kinda don't know how to express myself well to others. I know everyone judges, even myself. I keep thinking how i can make someone not judge me. It's impossible i know. & that is the fact that's stopping me from exposing myself to anyone. I'm afraid. I fear of what people think of me. This fear has gotta go, unless i wanna stay single forever lol. (I really think i'll be single forever. I have this bloody feel, and i'm really not liking it. Yeah i'm kinda too young to say this but WHO KNOWS.... I think i'm gonna stay single for life.)

You know as a girl, your memory on certain things is really way beyond anyone's imaginations. Like i take me for example. I can remember every single detail of a certain event that has happened in my life. Seriously i'm not kidding. What the person said, what we ate, what time we left the place etc. I can remember.

So i was trying so hard that night to recall what's been going on for the past few months when you always came to the shop. Were there any signs that i didn't caught? NO. So now i'm only left with a week in the shop. If you still don't like appear out of the blue regardless of what stupid civil shit you're in, i'm just gonna conclude that it's fateless.

Next monday. My birthday. Lasalle's 1st day orientation. Work. Ok. I really wanna say i'm expecting nothing but no i have many many scenarios planned in my head. <- Usually such things wouldnt really happen unless god loves you more than anyone else which is obviously impossible. Most of the scenarios have got to do with College East but ha ha ha i have a wild imagination so let's just forget it. Actually it's a waste i never wanna be a script writer. Lol. Hmmm come to think of it that can be my other choice of route if i ever suddenly break my leg and can't dance for life (FUCK I TOUCH ALL THE WOODS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE LOL) Really, i have too many extremely wild imaginations going on in my head every single night. If my English was A+ standard i would've really just start writing a book or be a script writer.

But yeah surprisingly i'm expecting nothing from my friends and family. Really. I think this is gonna be the first year in my entire life, i'm just gonna treat it as a normal day. Well.... Actually last year was very bloody normal too. But Geraldine and Jazreel came to my house and surprised me with cupcakes. So that made the day a tad special since i don't get surprise visits on usual days. What can my family do? Buy me a cake? Oh happy birthday ha ha ha. Lol not my cup of tea thanks i've have enough of that for 10 over years think of something special. Then i think about it myself. Special? My family? No those two things are just continents apart. Never gonna happen. As for my friends..... They are all schooling. What the hell can they do. Skip school? Laugh my ass off i'm really not some celebrity star that they have to skip school. So yeah. & I haven't made any new friends this year except for Aglin, Christopher, Kelvyn, Xuejun and some ITE regulars whom they don't even know my name, let alone my birthday. Oh Kel and Chris don't know when my birthday is (maybe facebook will inform them. fuck facebook). I've told Aglin before but i doubt she remembers lol -_-.

(what the shit this post is getting too bloody long long long.)

I just wish my next week goes by smoothly.... I really do... God's present to me. I'm very curious what it is.... Please be good to me.

FUNNY MOGURT

Ok. I seriously can't go to sleep unless i start typing a whole load of nonsense to satisfy myself.

So work today was insane. LOL K not insane, but i don't know if i'm unlucky or lucky. The stupid hot water dispenser decided to troll me this morning while i was making my first drink for the customer. The water flew out continuously because the dispense button kinda got stuck there. THANK GOD Kelvyn just put in the water and it only started boiling or else i couldve got scalded!!! LOL i kinda panicked too much and Kel only responded to me after i started shrieking! Yes i literallyed shrieked..... So he laughed at me and thought the whole situation was damn funny. HAHAHA k fine i also laughed at myself. :B

Then there were loads of spillage today. I spilled OREO CHOCOLATE on that stupid machine where you seal the cup. It was too full so the whole cup "exploded". Omg how dirty. Then Kel also spilled some syrups here and there and OMG messy day. LOL but yes it triggered alot of laughter... The next thing that made us laugh was my clusmy self again. There were loads of orders coming in and i was kinda stressing alot inside but obviously i'm trying my best to maintain calm in case any bad thing happens again like spillage or what not. So when the orders slowed down, i was still stressing inside for god knows what reason?! Kel asked me, "So you making Mocha or Yogurt?" Those were the 2 orders left for me to make. I wanted  to tell him Mocha. But i ended up saying MO-GURT. . .!!!! LOL!!!!! What the heck is my brain thinking. I just created a new drink out of my stupidity.... I THOUGHT HE DIDNT HEAR... But he repeated, "MOGURT." OMG LOL i seriously couldnt maintain my laughter. I'm even laughing right now, recalling the incident. I laughed until my stomach hurt. Then at that moment there was a customer at the counter. I took his order since Kel was busy making his YOgurt. I really can't keep my laughter in. I laughed while taking that guy's order and he maintained a straight face. That made me feel like i'm seriously retarded... Mogurt was the highlight of the day.

Due to my blindness, i can't see small things or words. Then Kel asked me to take a sticker to paste on the waffle box to seal it. The sticker is WHITE in colour in a TRANSPARENT box and it was near this place which is filled with paper. So i couldnt see even though it was right infront of me. LOL then Kel was beside me and he gave me the wtf face cuz he thought i was trolling him. HAHAHA then he took the sticker and i just couldn't keep my laughter in again. WTF IT WAS REALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. LOL!!!!!

WHAT A DAY!!!!! LOL laugh till i stomachache for at least thrice... & i don't know what's up with the ITE students these days. WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS FLIRTING WITH ME!? Like omg for the first time in my life people's actually flirting with me -_- Helloooooooooo you won't get discount if you flirt. I can't even remember how many people flirted with me today omg. Very awkward people,  you should stop it. There was this person, he asked me whether Yakult Green Tea was nice. I said yeah, i guess? -smiley face- Then he say, "Huh really ah? Later drink already i stomachpain how?" LOL I told him he obviously won't have a tummyache so he decided to get it. But before i could key it in, he asked me the same question again. I told him NO WON'T. But he still changed his mind and ordered Choc milktea instead. That time i had 3 drinks unmade and Kel was busy doing waffles for other people. So i had to rush. Choc milktea was the last. BLOODY HELL HE KNEW THERE WERE DRINKS BEFORE THE DAMN CHOC MILK TEA. Then this guy kept staring at me and making noises, asking me if i could make his drink first because he need to go off immediately(EXCUSE). I was like "NO. YOU WAIT." Kukubird.

People should also stop waving at me. Why do i suddenly feel like alot of people know me?! This is so weird. Omg really i can't see your damn face. You either come to the counter and say HI or just stop waving to me from afar. I'll just ignore you. LOL.

Kel asked me why i use LOL in real life too. I don't even know myself. When i type LOL, i seriously mean LOL. But when i type "lol", i mean you better fuck off or else i'll stab you. I know right i'm such a weirdo :B

Sigh 9 more days of work, only. I'M GONNA MISS THAT PLACE HONESTLY REALLY.  T_T  Sigh.

L-O-L Day

I realised i recently have this habit of sleeping in for an hour after i hear the alarm clock. God this is bad.

Supposed to meet Aglin at Lasalle at 9am. But she was afraid she couldnt wake up. So i told her to text me at 7.30am. If i receieve her text, it means i'll go find her. If not, i'll just continue to sleep in. Who knew she texted me at 3am telling me i didnt need to follow her anymore because she had something else to do at home (lol). Oh well, i saw her text at 7am. Was thinking if i should tell Kel i could come in at the usual time or i should sleep in. LOL obviously i chose my second option and slept all the way till 9.30am.

Reached iTea at 11am and the first thing Kel told me was "Eh someone came here to find you leh~~~~" I gave him the ???? face, LOL.

Kel: I mean someone came here to find you IN THAT SENSE la~ (K if you still didnt get it, it meant someone interested in me came to find me this morning.)

Me: LOL!? Who sia!

Kel: -smiling cheekily- Hahaha later you see lor. He was like "That girl never work today?" I told him later you'll work. :)

Me: Oh..... I know one meh!!! How can it be!

Kel: Not bad ah not bad. He quite cute, shy shy one.

Me: LOL WTH WHO LA.

Kel: -Smiles and laughs and idk what-

K so that person really did come back. I knew only after work what the hell. Kelvyn asked me randomly when he was fetching me to the MRT. 

Kel: So you know who came to find you already not! :D

Me: How the hell i know!

Kel: Aiyo! How can you miss him....

Me: LOL siao seriously. I'm like blind and you never even tell me who is it and so many people today! He got come again meh!?

Kel: Haha see lor~ See you interested in who lor~ Ya! He came once in the morning then came another time after that!

Me: WHAT THE LOL!!!! WHERE GOT SUCH THINGS. He came when i came?

Kel: Where got don't have! Ya!!!

Me: QIAN BIAN i don't care you tomorrow better show me who!

Kel: Aiya he won't come already lor.. He graduate already. Even if he come he will be back as Civil -I CUT IN-

Me: OH THE RED SHIRT GUY!

Kel: HAHAHA CORRECT

Me: WHAT THE SERIOUS?!!?!? Omg what. I thought he got girlfriend!

Kel: I also lor! But he told me that one is not. He say everybody also think that one is his girlfriend...

Me: LOL of course la they always together what. Both also always order honey green tea.

 He used to come to the shop regularly and i always forever thought he had a girlfriend because he always came with this girl. I call them the greentea couple LOL. Stupid Kel..... I would never guess that it's this person because in my head he always had a girlfriend what. How the heck Kel expect me to guess? He really think i can read souls? Another reason is..... he's one of the good looking ones around . . . LOL come to think of it Kelvyn did gave me a hint which i didn't even knew. When that red shirt dude came, Kel shouted "Oh you're back again! :D" I didnt care cuz Kel is always crazy. Then funny thing is Kel took his order but didnt key into the system and he told me to take his order. -_- LOL SERIOUSLY.

K so another incident. Another girl, she came into the shop with a super happy face. I was the one taking orders. She smiled and me and said "Ice mocha!" I smiled back and said, "Regular Medium? :)" LOL she gave me a very unexpected answer. "Er you make ah? :)" But Kel was the one making drinks at that time.... So i just smile and before i could say anything, she continued "Aiya you make uh! You make very nice!!!" Then she continued praising my skills infront of her friends.... O_O LOL can she don't make me blush? Omg what a morning. First that red guy shirt and then the praise.. *blushes*

Yes im back to being blind. My eye went haywired last night again. Fuck you eye you're fucking irritating. Some person waved at me just now and i'm just smiley cuz i can't see your face yo don't know who are you yo... -_- Sigh i hate it. I NEED TO WEAR CONTACTS. Fuck when will my eyes recover.... :(

Oh i had a very odd dream last night. About superheroes. -_- About me casting in a movie. Kristen Stewart was inside. The cousin that i dislike was inside. Superman and Spiderman was inside too.... LOL. I was superman's.... ASSISTANT. All i remembered was me asking superman why his palms were so big. Like really super big, and me consoling Kristen Stewart because she was crying over idk what. LOL WHAT KIND OF DREAM IS THIS. No the weirdest thing is, i woke up and read my tweets. Alexander's latest tweet, he posted a photo of himself posing with a SUPERMAN drink. When i saw it i'm like HUH SUPERMAN AGAIN? What's with the mad coincidence...

Boohoo i thought today was Thursday >< Oh man suddenly not looking forward to school because i'm afraid my eyes is not gonna heal. ARGH i'm not gonna think so much.

Bookworm

HI!!!! Woke up at 11 today. Hmmmm what did i do the whole morning-afternoon? Omg i don't know. -_- Went to heartland mall in the mid afternoon to get my 50 shades freed but turns out that they had no more stocks for that book! All 3 books actually OMG. So i left my name down and went off to get my chocolate milk tea :B

Went home and stone for a couple of hours. Watched some show that i don't even know the title. Oh it's called Single Ladies if i'm not wrong. Hmmmm yeah i guess it should be. As usual, was scrolling through facebook and omg i came across this. Literally laughed my ass off....

It's actually kinda true man LOL! That's why my laughter..... But seriously look at the woman's smile... It's just so pervy. HAHA

Okay then moving on... I saw this. Another one which made me laugh out loud.

If you don't get it then you're just slow and dumb and suck at inferring. HAH juz trolling~

 Went to Thomson's Long house for dinner and saw a couple of mediacorp artists. LOL mom was telling me and brother how usually you can spot mediacorp artists during dinner time because the office is really nearby. Then there they were... Coincidental much?! :B Last stop of the day, Thomson plaza. Main reason why i went there was because of Popular.... HEH I MUST GET THE BOOK OR ELSE I'LL BE SUPER BORED AT WORK AND AT HOME TOO (cuz most of my dramas haven't release their latest episodes....)

Yes i got it. IT WAS THE LAST ONE IN FACT! How lucky can i get...~ Also bought another book called Haven of Obedience. I don't know what's that about or whatever nonsense but apparently it's like some sequel to 50 shades? Ok not sequel. I don't know how to say.... Hmmmm.... OWELL i shall just find out after finishing my last of 50 shades.

AND YAY I'M ON MY CONTACT LENSES AGAIN~~~ The world is physically clear to me right now and i'm just very happy~ But i gotta worry about my complexion right now cuz it's just getting from bad to worse and i don't really know why. Tsktsktsk nothing is ever perfect man. Oh well that's life ha ha. Work tomorrow and am i supposed to look forward to it? Hmmm let's see. What's the day tomorrow? Monday. OH YEAH yes i am supposed to look forward to it. HAHA Ok cya babies.

Forbidden

I need to get over this phase quickly. I still get touchy everytime she tells me she's coming down. I still feel like she's your kind of girl and if you see her, you'll get all excited and i'm just...... invisible. She kinda sparks up my bitchiness and i hate myself when that happens. Like what the fuck is wrong with me? She makes me feel like i should be like her, makes me feel like i should change myself. Because myself is boring, quiet, shy and she's bubbly active and noisy. With her around nothing's ever awkward, nothing's ever boring.  

I’m stuck. Feels like quicksand.

And time's running out, gotta figure this out.
As my head, my heart disagrees.
Head says no, heart says yes, I’m my own worst enemy....

- Thanh Bui's I'm Forbidden

But i think it's just like whatever. I will have to always go through this kind of things. There will always be bubbly active cheerful people and i'll always be me. However hard i try to change myself, it's just near impossible, seriously. I tried. Many times. Countless times. I just fail. I'm not the kind to entertain people. I'm not the kind to bring laughter to people. I'm just BLEH, like this.

Alright i had a dream cum nightmare yesterday. Jerked myself out of my nightmare at 9 this morning. Was still feeling very tired so i continued sleeping till 2pm. I'm done with 50 shades darker. Wanted to go get the third book just now but was lazy. So i ended up watching some shows online. Boring day honestly.

School's just gonna start, for real this time. Once again i'm standing alone. Aglin's pulling out. Who am i gonna meet? I honestly don't like the other 2 girls i met during audition. Sigh i got the life's-not-always-smooth feel right now. One of them is so ...... and the other is so bloody good at Ballet. Oh my god why. Don't know. I don't really know how to like put my feelings in words right now. Just feeling very lifeless. I feel like my lifeless life has already started.

Because it's you

T_T I love dramas, love lovestories. I'm such a classic fairytale lady. I don't understand myself. I really wish love in dramas are how love really is in reality, which is most unlikely to actually happen. Boohoo, just watched another latest episode of BIG and i'm like just BEWHEWWWWW where in the world do you find such a nice guy seriously?!?!? Wadafuck. Always fucking with my mind and my mentality of guys in reality and dramas. & I always love the sad OST :( I'm so crazy. I love Huhgak's One Person and Because it's you - Davichi. Really it's beautiful :'( Korean sad melodic songs can actually make me cry la.

Ok so i've also been reading 50 shades darker everytime i'm free during work. Like i said before..... Book 2 has more love and less sadism which i really love love love cuz he's just so gentleman and stuff and like the world's most perfect guy (again! yes even books drive me super insane. sigh im just crazy) Must be because of the book, i've had another Kim hyun joong dream last night. SO PERFECT. FUCK my dreams with kim hyun joong inside keeps evolving. I was actually his god damn love of his life and he was talking in English(I THINK? or was i speaking in korean. NAH i was speaking in English) and he was just such a perfect boyfriend. I can't believe we actually kissed. YES FUCK IN MY DREAMS WE KISSED AND IT FELT SO BLOODY REAL. I COULD FEEL HIS GOD DAMN PRESENCE. HIS GOD DAMN LIPS ON MINE. Ok my previous dream about him felt damn damn real too. Sigh HOW CAN DREAMS ALWAYS FEEL SO REAL?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!! (ok cool down i think there's too many words in capslock heheheh....) But really la.... If i can ever meet a khj lookalike in the next 10 years you'll definitely be mine :B Maybe the KHJ in my dream is not KHJ and is probably my future husband/boyfriend/love of my life HAHAHA GOD KNOWS RIGHT?!!? :B omg i'm sorry. Can't stop everytime i talk about him OK.

I woke up at exactly 9 and i went like "OH NO 9?!" Cuz my work shift is at 9. Immediately whatsapp Kel to let him know i'll be more than an hour late. Only remembered that he told me his whatsapp is spoilt when he texted me to ask me where i was when i was on the bus. LOL. My anticipation of Chris' presence were so high. Working alone is really boring :(

My day actually started very well. I feel like i'm very bubbly today. LOL!!! Hmmmm cuz most of the customers were always happy and i kinda communicated alot more than usual. Sufficient sleep is so important, you see. :B I thought Chris wasnt coming!!! He came in so late, like at 1pm or something. YAY at least he came. Whole place became livelier and nonsier. 2 guys crapping nonsense.... Really very entertaining!!

After an hour later, Kel went for a swim and left the both of us in the shop. Chatted and stuff la. CHRISTOPHER IS JUST SO NOT A GENTLEMAN. Somehow or another he kinda has this girl crushing on him and pesters him everyday. Like his classmate and she always texts him the same 2 sentences. "Good morning. Are you going to be late today?" LOL he got frustrated so he ranted about it and then all those sorts of nonsense. Hahaha.... Then i added afew new songs into the macbook. One of them was super junior's new song, Sexy free and single. There's this part of the song that goes like SEXY SEXY SEXY. So Chris was like "Sexy sexy sexy. Very sexy meh?!" Just after he said that, they sang that part again. LMFAO. Joke. Then he continued, "Recently kpop songs very nonsense one. I'm still alive! I'm still alive! Of course you still alive you still singing what." LOL he was talking about Big bang's Still Alive. HAHA. Epic. Bloody lame but epic.

Suddenly there was this malay guy who kinda irritated me cuz he was ordering a drink (must be a first time since i haven't seen him before). He kinda flirted with me and made me dk what to do and all Chris knew how to do was laugh wadafuck. I asked 'sugar level?' He answered, 'can put more than 100% anot ah? like 200%' Obviously i said no then he was like flirty mood on and i'm like lol do you wanna buy not. Pay money also must flirt what the shit irritating bitches. Kept asking for my name and trying to dig for information. Ha ha ha sorry i'm so not a student of your god damn school. K la i know i'm not exacty very attractive but lol every girl has a right to tell guys like them to shoo away. Yesterday kinda happened the same thing but he was entertaining and didn't flirt as much as him so i didnt care.  

"Because it seemed like things would just end like this

Because it seemed like you would just hide
I keep looking, I keep looking at you like a blank fool

I’m afraid of my heart that is growing bigger
Again today, I try to ignore and pass by you but tears flow because it seems like my heart will burst.

Even though it hurts, I smile when I think of you
I can endure it, I can withstand it, I can"

-Huhgak's One Person

Honestly he has got his bad and good points. Sad that we can only be this much. I'm currently on my 3rd month. An infatuation lasts up till 4 months. Yeah yeah yeah i'm not gonna see you after this month anymore. Ha. So yeah it'll go away. Life goes on~ Just always looking forward to Mondays anad Fridays. :)

I'm just dead already k

Hi. You're looking at what a zombie is typing right now.

No idea how tired i am everyday since Monday. Firstly, i can't freaking see clearly. So obviously straining my eyesight will make me more tired. Secondly, i've been working ALONE everyday except for Monday (and Tuesday but blah. newbies make things worse so i end up having to do all the work too). The boss helps out a little but i do 3/4 of the job, ALONE. You know how sad that is? I don't even have the energy to talk or laugh or even smile at the customers. Lol i can tell some of them wants to throw daggers at me. I really apologise. I also don't know what's up with my fatigue. It's just insane. I hate this feeling. Prolly because the world is so blur in my eyes right now and i really HATE THIS FEELING. Fucking can't wait to wear my contacts again.

Usually after my alarm goes off, i'll switch it off, sleep like 5-10minutes more then automatically wake up and freshen myself up. For the past few days i've just been really lazy and tired. So i just go to work like an hour late or something. Haha...

Work was busier than usual today. When i came in the morning, the place was empty and in my god damn eyes, i thought there was no one. But Chris was sitting at the sofa there. I seriously didnt notice until i saw something moved (lmfao he was flipping through a magazine) I HATE MY EYESIGHT!!!! I WISH I HAVE PERFECT EYESIGHT. I told Kel how high my degree was and he was like ' O_O LOL yeah you're really blind. I'm 250 and i cannot even see already lor!' LOL YES feel my pain.

He gave me lifts to the mrt recently too. You know, when you're with people like Xuejun and Kel, conversations will always go on. Either that or they will always start talking first, which is good for people like me who doesn't really like to start conversations unless we're high on sugar or drunk or just hyper. Sadly, Chris is like me. So everytime me and him happens to be on the same train on the way home together, IT'S JUST SO............... ARGH. Hate it. I think tomorrow's gonna have another round of awkwardness after work cuz he's working tomorrow.  Sigh don't know. Oh well, on a brighter note, he got a haircut and i think he looks awesome in it HAHAHA.

Alright so dance orientation is in 10 days time. Yes it starts on my birthday. How sad/happy/idk(?!). They make things so crazy. 5 days of 1h30min body conditioning and then another 5 days of nonsense orientation. That makes my orientation 10days in total.... I'm gonna work before going to orientation from 23rd-27th cuz my orientation's from 4.30-6pm. So it's gonna be work and dance work and dance for the upcoming 5days. Oh my holy mama.

If y'all don't know, 23rd's my birthday and on that day, i only have like 6hours to myself to celebrate my birthday (lol wtf can i do from 6pm to 12am -_-) Zzzzzz i just hate birthdays. It's like supposed to be a special day for me but i don't even feel special at fucking all every year and it just irritates me. Why the fuck do we even have birthday celebrations (no i don't have one since 4 years ago). I like surprises and nobody bothers giving me surprises. I like presents but people give me presents that makes me show them the fuck-you face. NO don't get me wrong. I mean if you really remembered my birthday and made/buy my birthday present in advance and plan everything whatever of that nonsense of course i'll be touched cuz afterall, IT'S THE THOUGHT THAT COUNTS. I'm talking about those people who just anyhow do anything then "happy birthday here's your gift(rubbish)", worse still don't even remember my birthday lol. Even a baby knows how to do that. Fucking not special and i fucking hate it. Bullshiat hate birthdays.


(random) Yay i love you