Wut

I have the weirdest thoughts ever.... LOL

I was just scrolling through my own blog and then.... "What if my future kids found my blog and go like "OMG MUMMY'S BLOG.... OMG HER LIFE. WHY LIKE THIS"" Lol -_-

I've been reviving my iPad yesterday night. I haven't used it ever since I've gotten my iPhone 5s but okay since now it's gone, I'm back to using my iPad. Found a few random videos of my early 2013 life and I was just like aw.... Sigh So much have changed in just a few months. I wouldn't say a year. Because I'm sure I was pretty much the same until this year Jan. What has happened to me really? I know it's so annoying that on every post I'll have to mention about something about me being different. But really... I've never felt like this before. I wouldn't say I don't know if it's good or bad because I kinda know it's more bad than good. So I was like putting in 2014 photos in and all I needed to do was to look at those photos, and I could already tell what a different person I was from then and now.  MAYBE I'm kinda learning more about myself and.... maybe this is one part of me that I'll never be able to accept or tell the world to.

I've never felt this vulnerable in my entire life. I was craving so bad to just hug someone like a koala bear and never let go. Ok la I actually think I won't have the time to think about such things when school reopens. I want to be a better performer, be a better self. Might die in contemp but please I want to die gracefully. I think that's my aim for this semester. To have nicer extensions. To hold my core like some fucking retard and make sure I don't look sloppy as hell. I can't guarantee i'll be spontaneous in class like volunteering myself to do things but..... I AIM TO NOT BE A COWARD.

A few more days till school reopens. Goodluck to me :')

I guess we have to learn to live with mistakes that we've made in our lives. I'm really thankful to those who have stood by me. Like how much more can I ask for? A friendship takes years to build. I'm so glad our paths have been crossed. What can I do with you guys? I don't need to mention names because they know who they are. They are like precious gems that I can never do without. I can tell them anything in the world and I am not a tad afraid of whether or not they'll judge me. Because I know they won't.

I've opened my eyes to so many rubbish people out there. So many I just really want to close my eyes to but I guess it's still better to know than to not know. That's always my rule. Do not let the whole world know everything that you know. Let them be. If they think you're ignorant, just know that you know you're not. They will just end up fooling themselves because you know hella more than them. I'll take my parents for example. I can spend hours and days and months and years telling them I know what I'm doing. But in their eyes I'm forever a young kid that knows nothing about the world and a wolf might just come and swallow me down. What can you do about it? Nothing. Just accept it and move on.

I've finally opened up to people that I know will stay. I know they are trustworthy and I've stepped out of building unnecessary walls. Like what? They are people that would be there for me. I know it. I love them and they know it too.

I know I've been really nonsensical. My past 2 blog posts. I know I've been rambling so much and no one even knows what I'm talking about. But it's okay. I suddenly alright now because I know they are there for me.  I'll give myself a few more days.. I'll be alright. I know I will I know I will. Because after all it's the people that stood by me that matters. Who gives a shit to anyone elseeeeeee NOOOOO I don't care. & this is probably one of the most immature thing I've been saying my entire life but.... "YOU'RE ONLY YOUNG ONCE" So yeah whatever it is. I'll stay strong.

I came back to my senses.

Not really.

But I'm sorry for the rant.

I'm tired of being so sad. Tired of feeling so much. That's a fact. Everything I've been through this year, it's all bullshit. & I've been single. Yet I still feel so much. Like how even? I really can't imagine myself if I ever get into a relationship.

Of course I know this is just a phase. I know after a month this wouldn't matter anymore. At least that's what I hope. I blame myself for not knowing my own limits. I've only have myself to blame. If I see you again when I go back there, I'll say hi. Of course I will. Just hopefully I won't make the same mistake twice.

I don't know how don't know why but my dad talked to me this afternoon. About the same thing. About relationships mostly. I don't really know why. It was as if he knew what has happened to me. Obviously he doesn't. If he did I would've been slaughtered like a long time ago. Lol oh well. Not the point. The point was that I was just feeling too much feelings all at once. I've really let myself down. I know nothing I do right now can rewind time. So all I can do is to forgive myself, though I'm super unforgivable. So whatever.. I'll know my limits from now on. Whoever I meet in the future, he or she would have to accept me for who I am.. I'm sick of being someone else.

That doesn't stop me from going crazy. I'm still single. I'm still happy that I can be mingling around. I need a life. Especially when school is starting. I need a break from it. I don't think that's too much to ask for right? I guess this is who I am now. I can't go back to who I was. Right now I'm lost. I still don't know who I've become. Where did this Shanette come from? How did this Shanette came about? Why?

Why am I doing so much reflection? Hmmm :"( Going crazy hmmmm when I wrote this like 3 hours ago I swear I knew this was going to end well. But now it's night time. There are only 3 kinds of nights that I lead. 1. Days at home thinking about how lifeless I am. 2. Out partying. 3. Watching show. Of course today is number 1. Horrible. Mostly because school is about to start. I'm really very scared. :'( Why like this

AH whatevers till the next holidays guys. Maybe throughout the next 4 months something good will finally happen to me. Hor? Hahahhaha dreaming but never mind

Summertime sadness

Oh wells

Summer break is almost over for me. I'm left with 4 fucking days till I'm back to be a slave in school. I gotta say I've had my fun. I wish I had more fun though but I guess we can't be too greedy huh? I've had my summer sexiness, summer kisses, summer parties, summer tans, summertime SADNESS. Done.

I'm very glad to have spent so much time with Liqian over the hols. My dance class partner, party bitch, my fake lesbo partner in da club. But that totally didn't stop any man from hitting on me HAHAHAHA LOL. Totally regretted many things I've done when I wake up the next day, but I guess that's what yolo is? Doing stupid shit and regretting the next day. Then doing it again anyway. Whatever it is I live for the night. No one understands this. Especially my parents. God. School ain't gonna stop me from partying. Unless someone comes along and gives me a reason not to. Because fuck this shit I've got nothing to live for anymore.

I don't know I've been thinking a lot this whole week. I've been thinking about my love life. Thinking about the future. Thinking about what I'd do after I graduate. Thinking about this and that and this and that.

If I can settle early I swear I will. I've been talking to Liqian about this. About dating. About guys. About jerks. About nice guys. About everything on the list that I've done and I've regretted. Why? Really I know whatever I'm typing doesn't make cow sense but whatever I really just need to let it out. I felt so fucking sad after Wednesday night. I swear. People don't stay. I hate that I have to face this shit after every crazy night. I suck. I have a wild side. So? I hate this. Yet I love it at the same time. I know this is low. Yet I just need to fill in that emptiness. I can't believe that a girl like me can't find someone who truly loves me. I don't want to make out with every new guy I see in the club. I want to go in a club with the same guy and tell the world that he's mine. Why is it so hard? I know this is the most randomest shit ever but really 2014 has been one of the suckiest year.. All thanks to me and my attachment to people. Like really shan really? I hate the person that I've become. Why am I doing this to myself? WHY!!!!!!! Oh my god. Maybe I really don't deserve anyone.

I definitely know there are worst people out there BUT WHO GIVES A FUCK? I just care about what kind of a person I've become. Why am i like this.... What exactly am I lacking of? Confidence? I like me better when I'm high. I like me better when there's alcohol in me, when I'm wasted. Because I am confident ad I can do whatever the fuck I like. All of a sudden I can converse so god damn well with people. All of a sudden that boost of confidence just shoots right up. All of a sudden I can flirt with any guy I want. Sigh save me. But do i want to be saved? :'( I've been crying about this since yesterday and I still have no clue to why I'm feeling like this. I wished people cared about me more. I wished I was more important in people's lives. I wished I made a bigger impact on people. I wished people won't forget me. So many things in the world like FUCK CAN I STOP FEELING ALREADY. Can I just be the one hurting people and let people call me a bitch. I'd rather be a bitch. I don't want to be the nice person and end up getting hurt all the time. Like why? WHY SERIOUSLY.

"It doesn't really matter who you choose. Red hair, brown skin, green eyes, or permanently bundled under layers of clothing - it's all the same difference. You just need to date someone. That will make whatever hard lessons you're learning or emptiness you feel better. Right? 

It’s almost sad that you’re not looking for just any warm body.

You’re alright with solo Netflix binge watching and group bar outings. You’re glad you have extra time to work on the platonic relationships in your life. You don’t need — let alone want — just any somebody’s company.

You’ve come to realize, it doesn’t matter if you’re getting over a break up or not, you don’t want anybody. You know that’s lonely. It’s worse than the first time you went to the movies by yourself and all of the “How are you still single?!” family holiday dinner commentaries combined.

You can’t just point out some random person and look to them to make you happy. You need a spark. You need that silly grin plastered across your face whenever you think of their name or how you met. You need that rush comes whenever your phone pings and it’s them. You need to date someone who isn’t an afterthought."

Where should I start. So horrible feeling horrible

Yesterday was the first staycation I had in my life with my clique. First thing that spoilt my mood, my family. I only expected my mom to follow me down because she booked the room under her card. So ok but no they crashed my room and made me feel like shit because they were dissing the room. How small it was how simple it was bla bla. LIKE FUCK I NEVER ASKED YOU GUYS TO STAY STOP COMMENTING. Ok so that spoilt my mood. Then suddenly ignorant and annoying assholes be calling me nonstop or like whatsapping me nonsense like give me a break I can't deal with shit like this. Don't send me selfie. THAT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE IF I AM NOT CLOSE TO YOU OR IF I DON'T FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. Bij pls

So ok we went to the beach to hang out till Jai buka. All's still good. Had dinner after that at about 8plus. Went back to the hotel and took turns to bathe and prepare. It was the first time ALL of us were clubbing together. First time Amanda Charlotte and Jai were clubbing. I was kinda stressed the previous night already because the place that we were planning to go, I've never been there before. & the people I know who goes there, are like ahlians and shit omg. Ok whatever I just threw my anxiety away and went with the flow. Reached Club K and I was like what the fuck. You can never believe what happened. THE CLUB WAS EMPTY. NO ONE AT ALL. Really. I got so shocked I almost died. Stupid guy still told me to come earlier. LIKE OMG IF WE CAME EARLIER WE BE LIKE HANGING AROUND DOIN NOTHIN. When we were there it was almost 12 ok. So back up plan, we decided to go Butter instead.

Couldn't find a cab to butter. CRAZY SHIT. We ended up taking the super expensive cab. Starting price was $5 plus $9 surcharge. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK RIGHT. Like whatevz

I was excited because I haven't been to butter before. So we reached there, got our chops and when we were about to enter, the bouncer said our chops were not properly chopped. So we had to go down and get it chopped again. Fak? He made a big fuss about it like what the hell. After we got in, I fell so lost. LOL obviously since i haven't been there before. It was already like 12.30 then and we still didn't get any drinks I was damn pekchek already. So me and Liqian bought a jug of Whiskey Coke. I was just sipping non stop and yet I was still so sober. I felt like it was damn diluted sia damn. After awhile Andrea's friend finally got us drinks. Gosh thankfully they gave us super strong ones. Went to the dance floor with Liqian after that and omg we haven't even reach the dancefloor people already tryna pull us to their table. DUDES NEED CHILL. Well but we kinda had good company. Gotta agree that they were super funny guys. Very shocked that they can remember my name but whatevz.

I sobered up when I realised my phone was missing. Fuck my life. That's why every time I club I need to put my damn bag in the damn locker. And hold my damn phone SO NO ONE CAN BLOODY PICK POCKET ME. Ok it wasn't me who got pick pocketed. It was Liqian because I left my bag with her. Damn mood spoiler. I spent like 1 over hour digesting the fact that my phone actually got stolen. Seriously sia the bag inside got liqian's phone, my wallet, her wallet and my phone. That person spilled my mints all over my bag and stole my phone away. Kanina. Seriously need one tight slap on the face. So of course I went out and panicked because I wouldn't know what to tell my parents what. Annoying people. So one of the guys that I was hanging out with AKA Nick, suddenly came and helped me out. Er well not exactly he was like helping me and rubbing it in my face at the same time. That bitch LOL. Went out of butter and sat at the stairs for awhile, still trying to understand the whole situation. Nick and co were just sitting there and idk la, they were being very omg. My clique went back first. I just sat there with Liqian because well yeah don't ask me why we stayed. LOL. Went to have mcdonalds... Of course Nick's friend paid. I was so confused with Nick's actions like dude what do you want. He said I wasn't a simple woman. PLEASE YOU NOT A SIMPLE GUY LOL.

Ok went back to the hotel after that. I had to contact Jo before I fall asleep. The only thing I could think of was how to freaking contact him. God.... So annoyed. It was almost 6 already. I just slept till 8. So freaking cold ok slept without blanket. SHOULDVE BROUGHT MY JACKET RIGHT. Why i so stupid. Woke up and bathe and am awake all the way till now. Super tired. Super shag. Want to cry. I'm like thinking about all that has happened. SO HAPPENING IN SO MANY DIFFERENT WAYS. I enjoyed myself here and there. Like when I was at the beach with the clique. When I was in the club dancing my life away. When I was hanging out with those guys even though they damn annoying at the same time. I loved it. But family being annoying, losing my phone, going home and getting scolded, now dad ignoring me AGAIN. Like seriously what? Right now I'm still really stoned out because I haven't slept yet and really, all that's keeping me awake right now is jo or else I'll be sleeping my ass away already honestly. Sigh can be any more grateful and thankful that he's making me feel better. Actually being with my clique too. Somehow I just feel happier. Sigh i love y'all. Bad night or not with them all's good.

I LOVE YOU LIQIAN I LOVE YOU. Sobs I feel so bad for making such a big fuss about my phone. But I didn't did it on purpose to make her feel bad.... :'( I was just panicking for myself and thinking about the consequences I was gonna face when I get home. Sigh problematic. Can't they just forgive me. So irritated. They said it in a way where all the fault lies on me. Kanina. I really can't believe they don't know me at all. I hate this. But fuck it I'm just gonna take all the blame. Not like they never do this to me before. So fuck it. I can't believe my dad is showing me attitude 3 days before i turn 19. Wow so perfect his timing.

Whatever. I can't wait for Wednesday... I don't know what I'm doing in the day but in the night I'm definitely feeling it. Not really la I have to deal with my parents oh to the god -_- BURDEN LA. I mean technically I'm their biggest burden (hopefully not regret but probably is) but ok they burden me too

AHHHHHH

Hi everyone

Mazlan just taught us his recital piece today. AND I DIED SOBS. This is the third time that I'm going to his class and I'm still trying to get used to his style. LOL I can't believe I'm saying this but I haven't done street jazz in a REALLY LONG TIME. So tough so tough. & even if I've did street jazz, it was always very easy and relaxing and we have to concentrate more on performing rather on you know, crazy moves. But Mazlan is different, guys. Mazlan's movements are all cray cray and we have to be on performance mood too. WOAH TOUGH SAVE ME. So tired after his class. His class really super crazy LOL. Omg next week start of recital rehearsal. ME GONNA DIE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. Ok I don't rmb the choreo already. LOL I don't even remember how the music goes. Ok I hope to do better next week. I hope he goes through the choreo again. PLEASE GO THRU THE CHOREO AGAIN. LOL!!! As if crying for help on my blog would help.. But ok

So I haven't been going out. Been on my phone almost the whole day.. HAHAHA I love it. I love talking to people who keep my mind off of people that I don't wanna think about. I'm going through this whole phase of how a person is so similar to me and all. Waiting for the weekends because those are the times when he books out... Going days without texting the person because he has to be in the jungle.... OMG MAN. LOL GUYS IT'S ALL HAPPENING AGAIN THIS IS SO CRAZY HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS?!?!? I really don't believe in fate. That's why I take so long to digest all of this. I can't believe this person actually exists. I can't believe it la okay LOL. No you don't need to know what I'm talking about. Just be happy for me that I'm happy. & I know this happiness won't last. Because I know chats with awesome people never last. So I'll just embrace this happiness and move on when I'm supposed to. AS OF NOW, YAY!!! HAPPY ME IS HAPPY. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO NONSENSICAL. ME LOVE.

Was on the train with Andrea just now and SERIOUSLY OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY WAS NEXT WEEK. I thought it was next NEXT week. LOL!!!! Ahhhhhh still no plans oh no

I woke up feeling very weird today. Well of course it was something related to my dream. Wow I swear Andrea and Liqian knows the right time to text me. Ok so I told Liqian about my random dream. & she thought I was crazy. LOL WHAT'S NEW. Ok that's not the point. The point is.... I haven't really been hearing those names in quite awhile. You know I just try to stay out of their business, don't really wanna hear their names... I was shocked I even dreamed about the person okay!? I was like what the heck why you invading my dream dammit. So I was telling Liqian..... Suddenly Andrea texted me about them. I WAS LIKE WUT. Omg omgoodness this can't be happening. Ok so whatevers. Then suddenly...... Becky texted me. I thought she was just casually asking when I was free cuz we kinda wanted to visit some cafe together like next week or something. But I didn't reply her whoops so she texted me again. But no. It's regarding USS??!?!?!?! Jesus save me why is this all happening in a day. My dreams are forever giving me signs of my future. So creepy I can die.

As of now I'm gonna leave that aside. I can't believe it yaw I really can't EVERYTHING IS JUST ALL TOO COINCIDENTAL. I would really like it if YOU ask me yourself but knowing you, you wouldn't. So whatever. I really don't care anymore..

NOW I'M EXCITED FOR MY BIRTHDAY. WOOHOO this is such a last minute plan. I mean we all know that I never ever celebrate my birthday. Right? RIGHT. The last time I actually planned a birthday party was when I was 11. Then Jai gave me a very god idea just now while we were whatsapping. MUACKS I LOVE YOU JAIDANAH HAHAHA. People usually such things like 1-2 months in advance but me? No. I plan it less than 2 weeks in advance. HAHAHA joke man me joke.

BUT I'M SO EXCITED. My first staycation with my clique!!!! I'm so happy that everyone's excited too. Muahahaha. Well okay maybe only because it's FOC for them. I mean most of the time staycations are chipped in by everyone but oh wells okay. Thankfully the hotel is not that expensive. If it's above $500 everyone will definitely have to chip in. LOL WHY IS YVONNE NOT IN SINGAPORE. THIS IS SO CRAZY. OK LAST YEAR SHE WAS HERE. FOR MY BIRTHDAY. How dare she not return to Singapore this holiday..... :'(

I'M SO EXCITED. Okay~~~ I'm happy that my July is actually so fun this time round. Tomorrow is gonna be a fun day too!!! SO EXCITED. Going to GBTB with my Lili and then visiting Sentosa for some segway ride shitz and then heading to the Trampoline park to jump to our deaths with Jai and Lili!!! I'M AN EXCITED SOUL. I'VE BEEN WAITING TO GO TO THE TRAMPOLINE PARK FOR WEEEEEEKS. Yeah baby lets go~~

I'm very packed with Recital stuff too. SO EXCITING. I'M REALLY SO EXCITED. I foresee a super busy August but I'm super on about it. I've decided to join Andreas' recital piece too. OK so here was what happened yesterday when I went for his class. I actually didn't want to cuz after Mazlan's class I was already dying... But since he was kinda "choosing" his dancers from the people who attend his class, I just decided to go anyway. Wah he like give me a lot of corrections, pay attention to me all sia. Make me so special. AND HE REMEMBERS ME. I was shocked. He asked about Andrea because Andrea was supposed to come but she had something on so she couldn't make it. Only after I answered him, I realised he remembered me and I turned to Liqian giving her the ohmygod he remembers me face. LOL.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but he teased me about doing one of his moves very weirdly before. LOL and he couldn't stop saying it. Yesterday too.... Oh my god so embarrassing and yet funny at the same time. There was this specific floor movement that was so fast and I had no energy so I couldn't do it. When he was recording I couldn't do it either. I didn't want to spoil the video, so I crawled out of the video. GUESS WHAT? HIS CAMERA FOLLOWED ME. & he was asking "What you doing girl why you crawl until outside????" LOLLLLLL WHAT THE then when he switched off his music he said "You crawl until you out of the video sia" Omg in my head i was like THAT'S THE POINT YO. Why his camera follow me... SO EMBARASSING HAHAHAHAHA

Alright woohoo I can't wait for next week! My staycation!!! My girls!!! AND MEEEEE!!!! (maybe hotties too who knows right~~~~~~~~)

I'm aching so much from danceeeeee. Sigh save me this is not even school sia. HAHAHA 3 days of dance only I liddat already. Can't imagine how i'll feel when school reopens. First week confirm mati already. HAHAHA!!!! But ok can still building up my stamina now.

Haven't slept well for 2 days straight. Been sleeping at like 4/5 and waking up at like 10. Omg and I hate it the most when people disrupt my sleep. "eh faster wake up eh shanette what time already eh eh eh faster" PAK YOU!!!!! OMG stupid aunty made me so cranky this morning. But when i reached home in the afternoon, slept till like 7pm LOL JEEZ me and my screwed up body clock...

Omg I really don't know what to do on my birthday... Whyyyyyyyy omg I'm actually thinking of going to the beach at night and party HAHAHA so stupid. Someone save me what do people do on birthday lah sial?

Sometimes I really wish I was not that well off. I know everyone thinks I'm crazy. But seriously. My parents are overly attached parents. Overly worried parents. I'm fucking 19. If they can lock me at home I'm sure they will. Just because they think I'm not ready to see the world. They have NOOOOOO clue how much I've seen the world and how much I know about this fucked up place. Of course they have lived longer than me, seen more things than me. But still this is my life and I want to explore the world myself. Dangerous or not YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. As long as I don't get raped, as long as I can differentiate what's right and what's wrong, as long as I know who's bad and who's good, I'M ALL GOOD. I want to survive on my own so bad.

I really think one of the main reasons why I'm so socially awkward is because OF MY PARENTS. They don't let me out. They don't let me experience the working world. Cmon if I was poor they'd let me do ANYTHING that gives me money. (Of course know my limits la hor. Not sell body all la.) I'm talking about graveyard hour shift jobs. DAFAK WHY CAN'T I DO IT? They think I sleep at night issit? Instead of wasting my time TRYING TO SLEEP when I obviously can't, I could be earning $13 per hour just by typing nonsense on a damn computer. They think very funny "I'LL PAY YOU $147 FOR YOU TO STAY HOME" Kanina that's not even the point. I DON'T WANNA STAY HOME. They don't bloody get it.

Ok then don't work k. Don't work at least leave some allowance at home right. So I can save if I don't go out and if I do, I have more money to use right. God. So stingy for what. Don't let me work then LEAVE MONEY AT HOME DAMN. I get so mad when I stay home and I see no allowance. It's like I stay home for nothing because I AM NOT SAVING MONEY. I DON'T EVEN HAVE MONEY.

So mad. Talk about this money thing really drive me crazy. Actually why should I ask my parents about my jobs?!?!!?!? I should just accept it and work and don't give a shit about them sia. Omg stupid I always think about them but they always think I don't think about them. Dafak man. Really hao xin mei hao bao one.

Ya la I very angry now. Meh. Whatevers if my rant doesn't make sense. Good if it doesn't. I understand can already.

Elloz

My neck is in serious danger right now. Feels like the time when I injured my neck just before Open house. Feels like that now. Horrible. LOL and wow my inner thighs are aching. Funny because I don't remember training my inner thighs yesterday!?!?!? LOL

Spent my whole night talking to my oldest god sis. God.......  She was my one and only in the past man. I remember how she was the only person I wanted to talk to every time I came on MSN. Yet the kind of replies I get from her were one word replies because all she could do was... Emo about a manslut. So we talked about our past and we just.... reminisce shit. LOL I can't believe it. I was shocked when I received her message. She was like "I messaged you because I missed you.." I was SO SHOCKED. I've never gotten such a message from her before. It was always me talking to her. I kinda redownloaded LINE and her chat box appeared. Wow what good timing right?

6 years man it's been 6 years. I can't believe how I've changed so much and yet I'm still the same. LOL so weird right!??!!? I lead such a different life now. I mix with such different people now. I've became a much better person and yet I'm still fucked up in so many different levels that no one would know.

Oh wells. You know what? In another 6 years I'm gonna remember what kind of nonsense life I've been leading now and then laugh at myself again.

Many days I feel so lifeless. But when people actually do want to know my story I actually have a lot to tell. & I wonder where those stories come from. My life is really a lot more dramatic than I initially planned it to be. Its only when I start telling people my stories then I realise I actually do have quite a life.

HAHA but right now I think I'm really gonna be lifeless already. I kinda have a few plans coming up but.... well other than that I'm either broke or am too lazy to get out of the house. Hmmmm :B

If by tomorrow my neck is still not okay I don't know how am I gonna go for open house.

FIRST DAY OF JULY WENT WELL~!!!!!

So I went for my first Mazlan's class!!! Oh my god I was deliberating for the longest time ever you can ask Liqian... But I realised all my friends have been to Mazlan's class and I'VE NEVER EVER TRIED HIS CLASS.... So I went. AND IT WAS AMAZING. I can't believe I could catch it so fast and even perform it. Omg I don't know I just felt good and full of confidence (COME ON BABY IT'S SO RARE I LOVE THIS FEELING)

After class I bumped into Kayte and she asked me about Recital.... MEH I knew it. I knew her piece would already have a lot of people. I KNEW IT... She was like "Shan shan are you doing recital???" I told her I wanted to but I don't know who's am I doing. So she told me hers too many people already and told me to join Mazlan's.. LOL SO CUTE "Join Mazlan's la hehehe then I can see you -winks-" HAHAHA omg so cute. I was contemplating on either Kayte's or Andreas'. I didn't think of Mazlan's at all because yeah I've never been to his class before and we all know his choreographies are all so fast and crazy. How amazing I can't believe it. My first class and I actually did not so bad. -Pats self- I did well today. I actually could catch Mazlan's steps better than Andreas' even though Andreas' steps are like considered the easiest??!? What

BUT..... GUESS WHAT HAPPENED IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS? My freaking KNEE gave way. Fuck it was the same problem I had during my Jazz item last year. Dance halfway suddenly the knee hurting like fuck and I don't even know what's the problem so I kinda just left it till it healed itself. Obviously didn't heal properly since it came back. I haven't had knee issues for soooo long. Omg please don't do this to me. Oh wells I hope it'll be ok by tomorrow.

MUM BOUGHT ME A BLACK MCM BAG FOR MY BIRTHDAY!!!!! HAHAHA Such an early birthday present but WELLS I'M HAPPY!!!! I mean I don't dare to bring to school cuz it's expensive as fuck but.... DON'T BRING THEN THE MONEY WASTED WHAT RIGHT. So it shall be my new schoolbag muaahaha. First ever expensive gift from someone. Omg no I'm not pathetic ok I just never ever receive branded stuff.

What a good start to my July. I can't wait for my other plans to happen. Like going to freaking trampoline park!!! I'M EXCITED!!! Woohoo!!!! I realllllyyyyyy wanna go USS like fuck why is it not happening?! I'm going crazy like omg I really think it won't happen. I'm sick and tired of asking them so many times. So you know what? I'm just gonna wait till like the week before my birthday. IF WE'RE NOT GOING I'M JUST GONNA GO WITH SOMEONE ELSE. MEH SOMEONE ELSE LIKE ANDREA MENON.

I still can't believe this year school starts on the 30th July. Usually it starts during my birthday week. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT GUYS IT MEANS I'M FREE DURING MY BIRTHDAY!!!! I'm like excited that I'm free but at the same time..... What. I've got no plans. But.... It's a Wednesday????? SO~~~~ IT MEANS~~ LADIES NIGHT!!!! -Inserts smirk emoji- Hahaha

Woohoo i'm so gonna enjoy my last month of holidays before crazy school starts. I'm like so excited and at the same time I'm not cuz there's just gonna be a lot going on. LOL I see my poly friends still have time to meet me when their school started. When IIIII start school, I don't even have freaking time to see them. Don't tell me weekends cuz I'll be dead by then. LOL I go school everyday at 8.30am and when I leave school, IT'S DARK ALREADY OK. Where got time?? No time. So please guys ask me out this July. Come on let's go out and have fun and be fat altogether!!!!!