Two people from two different worlds

Reached iTea at 8.20am today and realised only Xuejun was there. Haha the weather was gloomy~ Wished it was even gloomier though... She bullshitted alot of crap hehe but funny, as usual~ Chris is like regular customer there man. Even if he doesn't work, he still comes to buy bubbletea from iTea. Haha, he came in at about 9am to get one and then around 11am to get another and then back again at around 1pm for work.

Some idiot was having Monday Blues and it was kinda affecting everyone's feelings so i decided to be pranky :P My hand was wet after washing the shakers so i went to put my handprint behind him. It was kinda a fail :(

So i tried again :B

HAHAHA. Success. My cute handprints~

I honestly dont know if he knows my hands were wet and his back had my handprints or he thought i was just being stupid hitting him on the back LOL. Well whatever it is, everything became more cheerful after all the nonsense we did. I kinda got attacked back after doing that >< It better than seeing black faces during work. Haha. Xuejun cheered me up when i'm moody, so i cheer him up~

I had a weird encounter today. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I SHALL NOT SAY IT. It's too weird and too NC16. Hahaha.

Xuejun told me lots of stories about her past while we were taking the train together to town. God she seriously has many stories. Best thing is that everything she says is interesting. When it's just the both of us alone, she's not as irritating and as boastful. I feel like i'm really her friend, and it feels good :)

Reached Plaza sing at about 7pm and on my way up to Golden Village, some idiot whom i dont know suddenly activated the fire alarm and the whole place was just like i dont know, NOISY LIKE HELL?! That person who activated it must have nothing to do or is high on drugs. It took the people in charge 15 over minutes to handle it and i swear my ears were bursting. Amanda said "This should be how WW2 must have felt like." LOL Totally agree.

Caught Street Dance 2 with Jai Liqian and Amanda. LET ME TELLYOU, IT'S FREAKING AWESOME. In Street Dance 1, they combined Ballet and Hiphop. Now, they joined LATIN and Hiphop/Streetjazz. I'm just amazed. The latin dancer is mad hot. I'd seriously go for her if i wasnt straight. LOL. So sexy!!!! I love sexy dances!!! She's so sexy so dancey so HOTTTTT. *Phew~*

All 3 of us stared at Amanda while she was having her dinner after the movie. They were talking about Poly stuff and i was just zoning out. I was feeling really tired :( & I was thinking about a particular person. Sigh i feel so irritated by myself.

After i heard relationship stories from Aglin and Xuejun, and then think about my past and some of my friends' pasts, i realised there are some things you just can't simply wait. 1stly, if there isnt any 1st attraction between BOTH of you, he won't make the first move. 2ndly, if after a week and you're still where you are, you can forget about it. 3rdly, if you're too comfortable being normal friends, NOTHING WILL EVER EVER HAPPEN. So yeah.

Wait actually he did made a first move, FOR A DAY. & i did text him, FOR A DAY. What the shit, loser much. To me ah, first attempt fail, i won't go for the second time anymore. We're like more comfortable talking to each other in person than texting. I don't know why!!! Who.gives.a.shit.

All 4 of us suddenly started webcamwhoring out of the blue IN A FOODCOURT. LOL epic much?

- I'll upload the nonsense webcam photos over here once Jai posts it up~-

Reached home at about almost 11. Ok i'm tired so goodbye people~

Hope for a conversation

Okay this is like the second post of the night. Since i slept too much yesterday, i obviously can't sleep right now. Haha. I'm currently randomly looking at youtube videos and looking at contact lenses. Yes i need to buy new contacts. Mine's gonna expire soon, i think.

I came across this cover video, which i thought was really nice. I love her voice. Somehow i feel like it's even better than the original. It's this song called Not Over You - Gavin Degraw. I first heard this song when Aglin went for the lyrical jazz class and told me about it. The lyrics is wonderful. :)

Okay now, i'm gonna tell you what's the most random thing that happened this very night. After saying goodnight to xuejun at about 2, i recieved a message from this unknown number. I've been recieving messages from lots of unknown numbers recently so it wasnt surprising to me. This was how our first few messages went.

No i'm not kidding when i said "LOL!!!" because i literally LOL-ed looking at his reply. Oh my god... Then right after i LOL-ed at his message, i tweeted "LMFAO I JUST DIED LAUGHING AT MY PHONE." I said i TWEETED, not REPLIED. & guess what was his next message?

Then after that, he told me he was on the phone with Aglin and at that very moment, everything made sense. Before i could even digest anything into my head, he told me to call Aglin. LOL ok. But before i could even call her, she texted me and told me to call Kev instead. So i did. Somehow i felt like i got trolled. The moment Kevin picked up, he went "You bird brain i told you to call Aglin's phone, not mine!" WTS. LOL so i hanged up and called Aglin.

We ended up talking for quite awhile and it's just all bullshit yet so hilarious. Totally made my night. Yes what an unexpectedly random yet awesome night.

"If you ask me how i'm doing, i would say i'm doing just fine. I would lie and say that you're not on my mind." - Not over you, Gavin Degraw

Just a driveby.

How amazing can i be man? I slept for the whole day today. So i woke up at 10am this morning because my stupid maid said "Shanette it's 10.30am already. Just to remind you if you're going out." I'm like HUH 10.30AM?! SHIT IM LATE FOR WORK. That's the first thing that came into my head. Then i realised it's freaking Saturday! What the hell..... The morning was so nice because i THINK it rained since there was no construction going on outside the house. She HAD to wake me up. -_- Checked twitter and all sorts of nonsense for afew minutes and fell back to sleep again. Woke up at 2pm and i'm like oooo it's 2 already. Shiok. I went to bathe after that, had breakfast cereal for brunch. Played diamond dash and then after 1hour, I FELL ASLEEP AGAIN, till 6pm this time.

HAHA, it's just ridiculous. I just slept my whole day away. Had dinner and taohuey. Wow i ate alot today. My stomach is currently really bloated. Owell, it's alright.

Watched the new episodes of Fondant Garden and KPOP the ultimate audition. Now i've got nothing to do. I don't want to tumblr. I don't want to go out. I don't want to do anything. I don't want tomorrow to come because i hate Sundays. I just want that person to say hi. I realised it's been one week. I miss that particular Wednesday. Sigh, there's nothing i can do. Really wished i was a boy sometimes. OR, maybe i wished my orientation wasnt straight. Sometimes i think i'm more comfortable with girls. I think liking girls are so much easier than boys. Because i'm a girl, i can understand how girls think and stuff. Okay.... This sounds all so wrong. EXCUSE ME I'M STRAIGHT. I'm just thinking. I used to discuss with Yvonne how girls can fall for girls but i guess now i know. NO WAIT. I don't think i'm exactly right since my orientation is striaght and i'm seeing it from a straight orientation's point of view. DO YOU GET IT? DON'T GET ME WRONG OK. Haha.

Can't wait for KHJ's concert this coming Friday. I really dont know how my dear man is gonna hi-5 the whole audience of probably 3000 people. I've bought a category 1 ticket but according to the floor plan, i'm quite far from the stage :( Look below, i'm in area 114! I'm blocked by 112 and 113... Sigh i want to be in 112 or 130 so badly. I want to like switch the ticket with someone else but i'm darn lazy to check it out. Gah it's in less than a week.... What should i do? :( Don't ask me why i didn't get floor plan. Initially i wanted to, but i had work that very day the tickets were released, hence i asked my mom to help me. Yes...... when mothers do the job, it's just...... always unsuccessful.

I hate to stay at home. I think I'm getting the "Charlotte's syndrome". I get moody everytime i'm home. I think about how others are enjoying life during the weekends while i'm home emo-ing, wts?! I don't know. I feel happy when there's someone to talk to. I hate it when i'm all alone. HATE IT. Yes there are times when being alone is good, but not all the time.

Xuejun texted me about some work-related matters just now. She totally don't believe that i enjoy working. She also don't believe that i never curse her behind her back, because like i said, she always 'scold' us. Instead I PRAISED HER EH. LOL. I think i'm just a really weird girl. People don't understand me because i have the weirdest shanette logics. It's ok. I guess that's why i'm unique -squints eyes and smiles sweetly HAHA-

Yeah my darling i'm gonna see you my handsome boy.

Call me maybe? Nah

So i went to work with a very determined, isolated feel. I was determined to stay quiet, and try my best to not mess things up. I used my earphones today, because i really wanted to block out the world. The moment i stepped into the shop, Xuejun called me bitch twice. The first time i couldnt hear because i still had my earphones on. When i heard it i just walked away. Threw my bag into the usual place and started work.

Xuejun could totally feel my dullness. She follows me on twitter and hence, she knows my mood etc. Her way of caring for people is really indirect. She bullshitted alot of nonsense before admitting that she's trying to make me happy. LOL it's impossible to get angry with her even though she always 'bully' me. Plus! She never stops smiling, how can i ever EVER get angry with her? & I can't say anything to thank her or what because her skin will just get even thicker than it already is. So i just kept her kindness in my heart. Hopefully she never ever sees this or else, i don't know? She'll just keep praising herself. LOL.

She kept hitting me today!!! WHY DOES SHE KEEP HITTING ME!! I'm not a punching bag... Plus my arms were aching so much from yesterday's contemporary jazz class. Argh. Today was just a typical day. Left work early along with Jiexin, at about 4pm. There wasnt alot of people who boought drinks today so Chris and Xuejun should be able to handle the small crowd. Both of us left only after packing up everything. So yeah.

Met up with Jai in the evening for dinner!!! Life's so comfortable with my dear girl. She's just such a nice person to talk to. Cuz she actually listens and actually responds. I lub chu Jaidanahahahah~

Despondence.

As expected, things were just bad today. The moment i made my first drink, i made a mistake. Instead of normal greentea, i made milktea. Yesterday Kelvyn kept nagging at me. Today Xuejun kept 'scolding' me. Wait she scolds me everyday. Maybe i'm not in a good mood. Maybe it's just me. Andrea and Amanda came today. It didn't make me happier honestly. Lol they and I were like in two separate worlds cuz i have honestly no clue what they were talking about.

I know many people think i'm just a rich princess that gets served by maids everyday. Yes it's true i have maids at home. So?! SERIOUSLY, ALMOST HALF THE POPULATION HAVE MAIDS THESE DAYS AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT. I just hate it when people say such things to me. LIKE WHY? I'm still a fucking normal human being trying to fit into this fucking ugly world.

I have lots of things on my mind. Like yesterday, i'm still in a mess. I can't understand why no one understands me.

Impossible? Why impossible? You know all you had to do was to ignore her, ignore all her nonsensical teases. You KNOW she's teasing us. Why must you always give such fucking irritating answers that will ruin my day's mood? At that point of time i really wanted to know if you meant it. Like wts? You make me feel like i'm such a fucking loser that you would never ever fucking want in your life. Am i that bad, honestly?! I know i'm not be pretty, not charismatic, dont have the body, but i don't think i'm bad to the extent that you would want be totally out of your life.

Early in the morning, Aglin just randomly said, "I think -that person- has something for you." My head just went blank for a split second and then came back reality, only to realise that what i replied her wasn't the words i wanted to say. What nonsense is going on in my head? Argh.

I'm just gonna be quiet tomorrow. I'm gonna try and ignore the world tomorrow. Just stay in shanny's world. The boss can scold and nag for all he wants, same goes to Xuejun. I don't care anymore.

Messed up

I don't know how i shall start today's blog post. Yes everyday at work is fun and there are many stories to tell but i doubt anyone would be interested to know my story. So, yeah. I'm currently in a very messed up situation, physically and emotionally. Everything's messed up!!!

My iPhone glass cracked. It's kind of a small issue compared to my iPhone 4 but IT STILL DISGUSTS ME!!!! I have problems with glass cracks and holes and WHATEVER THE FUCK THOSE SHIT ARE. It just disgusts me and hurts my eyes.

If y'all still haven't noticed, I have a some issues going on with the matters of the heart. Yes there is this particular someone that i've been "spying on" recently. Yes he's in my life, DUH. I doubt my own feelings every minute i see him.

1. It's just an eye candy.

2. He's just caring.

3. He's hilarious in his own way.

4.  .... Must the list continue? I'm just finding excuses for myself to escape reality.

In one of my previous posts, I said I was brave enough to take the first step to start a conversation with him, and i succeeded. The day after that, everything was almost back to square one, until his name appeared on my phone in the night. The moment i saw his text, my hopes went up again. However, the way the conversation ended was just bad. Hence, the next day, let's call it Day1, was just a bad day. I didn't know what he was being emotional about, and it was affecting me. Why the hell did it even affect me, I asked myself. Day 2 was no better. He just sat there, unleashing a really moody feel. & I stood there, affected by his mood. So i told myself, to not give a shit to you anymore and let you rot there until you feel better.

Day 3, which is today, was the day things totally changed.

We talked like we knew each other for years. We joked like there's no tomorrow. We created memories that will follow me forever even if there comes a day where we'll no longer be friends. I was just embracing every moment of it. What about you?

Then i thought about tomorrow, which is today since it's currently 1.04am. What if we start getting awkward for no rhyme or reason again? What if you stop talking to me like how you did today? I want tomorrow to be like today, maybe even better. I want things to keep getting better everyday, not worse. I know i've truly succeeded, when i can wake up everyday, knowing that it'd be a good day everyday because of your presence, & not worrying what will happen that very day.

Unless you feel the same way for me, there's no way i'm letting you know this shit going on within me. Yes i'm just this cowardy, and nothing's gonna change about that. I believe it fate. If god wants us to give it a try, he'll pave a path for us. If not, no i won't bother to try.

My mind might tell me to shut this whole shit out, but my heart won't. I wished i was cold as stone, then i wouldn't feel afraid.

Turned off

Hi. My day was not as happy as i look in the photo. The first thing that spoilt my mood early in the morning is my father. Well, i think it's my mother's fault actually. My mother changed my TTSH appointment and didnt even tell me anything. She told my dad to tell me early in the bloody morning that i had an appointment when i've already told my fucking body the previous night that i would only wake up at 9 fucking am. Argh so i was like stressing like mad, thinking how my day would end up. I hate it when people wake me up. HATE IT. Unless i'm late. Anyone who wakes me up earlier than the time that i set on my alarm, is obviously asking for trouble.

After the appointment, it was around 9.25am. Dad kept asking if i wanted breakfast. I was meeting Aglin at Simei at 10.45am so i still had time to eat breakfast with my dad. Out of kindness, i told  him i would. He said we'd go whampoh to eat, but ended up at Serangoon Garden. Instead of having breakfast, he was doing his stupid ATM card, which took damn long. After he was done, it was already 10am! I'm like 'WTF IT TAKES ME 1H TO REACH SIMEI FROM SERANGOON PLS.' So obviously i got pissed off because he was spoiling my plans. THEN he got pissed of with me for being pissed. What the shit, he's nutz. Since he knew it was kinda his fault, he suggested to give me a lift all the way to Simei. I COULDNT SAY NO BECAUSE I WOULD REALLY BE LATE FOR WORK IF I WENT MYSELF. Zzz

Work was very slacky today. Xuejun was as crazy as usual, Aglin was just gay in a way and Jiexin did most of my job, hence i had nothing much to do. The rain was not helping me stay awake. I drank Ice mocha to keep me awake, IT' DIDNT HELP. I was still sleepy. Aglin kept blaming me for not accompanying her to dance today. I'm so god dead tired, so lazy to even talk, how can my body even move man? Went home straight after work.

Today is just not a good day. I just wanna go shower right now and sleep. IT'S ONLY 8PM FYI. I hope tomorrow will be a good day, but i doubt so because i already doubted so. -_-

Enjoyment

I sincerely apologise for the lack of photos recently. Well, i'm always at work and usually i don't use my phone at work because the connection there sucks to the core. I totally have no signal there.

Went to work very early today! I reached at 8.15am, woke up at 6.30am! I don't really know why i went there so early for. Bullshitted alot with Xuejun the whole day. She's so fun to be with~~~ She can spurt vulgarities for all she want but it doesn't matter cuz she obviously means none of it. Chris came in at about 12plus because he has lessons in the morning i guess.

Was talking alot during work. Then suddenly Chris just blurted out one sentence. Honestly his one sentence made me moodless the entire hour. Just because of that one sentence, i spilt my drink, burnt my hand with hot water, and dropped the shakers. I'm like what the fuck, am i kidding myself? When i burnt my hand that stupid xuejun kept laughing and i'm like WHAT'S SO FUNNY SIA?! Ah but i know she cares, cuz she totally pulled my hand into the tap water to cool my hand down. Felt so loved for that moment, LOL someone's caring for me. & all Chris did was splash water at me and kept asking if i was okay, if he said something wrong. What was i supposed to say? "YEAH BITCH YOU SAID SOMETHING SO WRONG I WISH YOU CAN TAKE BACK YOUR WORDS." Joke.

Was planning to catch a movie after work with Xuejun. BUT THE CONNECTION THERE WAS SO LOUSY!!! It took so long to load the movie timings and stuff. She's such a bitch, trying to act some big boss~ She told me to say PLEASE to her so she'll catch the movie with me. WHAT THE. LOL i'm just being nice. This whole movie thing started because she said she's gonna catch a movie ALONE. God, what a forever-alone-moment. & i had nothing to do after work so i suggested we catch a movie together. Wait!!!! Actually i didnt suggest anything!!! She was the one who asked if i was going to rot at home again today, so i said yes if no one asks me out!!! Ah nonsense that woman.

Went to Century square with Xuejun after work to check movie timings. She asked Chris if he wanted to watch. Boss was actually coming, but he got meeting so didn't come. Caught Wrath of the Titans with Xuejun and Chris at 7.20pm. Had Burgerking for dinner with Xuejun before that~ Sigh she's such a nice person~ Went home after the movie. Me and Chris was going the same direction home so we just kept bullshitting in the MRT.

Sigh what a nonsensical bunch of people~ They are so fun. Time passes so fast when i'm with them. I feel happy.

Like an idiot

So i was trying to avoid what i was feeling last night, just trying to escape reality. I couldn't. When i was just about to go to sleep, Ben asked me how i was feeling. He was one of my victims that i ranted my sadness on. What could i say? Couldnt tolerate anymore so i just burst out at him LOL. He didnt mind, thankfully... AND I GOTTA THANK HIM, if it werent for him, i wouldnt get my happiness today. I don't know where i got my courage from. I actually started the conversation, thinking it'd just end with a short one word message from him. BUT NO. Everything turned out so different from what i expected. Thanks man Ben. It's all thanks to you, seriously.

Went out with Jai and Liqian today to watch Battleship. Dang that show is so not my cup of tea. It's so long and draggy and sci-fi-ish. God i slept for 20minutes. Had dinner at dhoby Xchange. Talked over dinner and it was awesome. Lots of laughter and fun. I love them. It's just true that Secondary friends will last the longest. I'm starting to believe that.

Entertainment

Yo wassup.

Went Lasalle in the morning with Aglin to submit my enrolment forms. Aglin's so smart, she forgot to bring her Lasalle contract with her. So while i head to work, she went home, take the contract and went back Lasalle. It took her forever..... I told Kelvyn and the rest that she'd be at work in at most an hour's time. BUT SHE NEVER APPEARED. God. She just fled. Just like that. LOL. She also told me she's gonna quit the job. Her father is just.... I've got no comments. I don't know if it's a good thing though. It's good cuz i can be independent. I feel like i'm a little bit too dependent on her. She acts like my sister and i feel a little bit too comfortable with her. I feel protected. So if she's not with me, i gotta like work everything out myself >< It's bad cuz obviously i won't have companion.

Work's so fun with Xuejun around. She's so outgoing and friendly and just makes me smile every second. Haha. Chris was definitely like upset cuz Aglin didn't come. LOL it's just simply all over his face man. Bro your emotions too obvious, gotta learn to control.

Today's all about the movie "The Lucky One" Tsk, Xuejun asked if i was free tonight cuz Chris asked her to watch movie. I'm like "I've got nothing on and i don't mind watching." Then i didn't know what show they were planning to watch. Turns out it was "The Lucky One". Ok yes i wanna catch the show, but Xuejun made everything awkward. Well, it's not exactly awkward at first because we both know she's just being freaking bored, so we kinda entertained her. LOL she backed out and told THE BOTH OF US to go alone. Then the whole day she just kept bugging me saying how i'm Chris' lucky one. Seriously, this bitch nothing better to do. (If she sees this, i'm so dead on Monday. LOL.) I know she was just kidding but there is a certain limit where you can joke until ah.

Kinda noticed how emotional Chris was after we closed the shop. What is his problem?!!?!! Cuz of Aglin? LOL I really wanna like, say it in his face... But me being me, a kind hearted bitch, wouldnt wanna do that. Walked to Simei MRT with Xuejun and talked nonsense on the way there. Haha i'm loving life at work.

I want my prayers to come true

HIIIIIII. Today was another fabulous day~~~....

Actually it started out not so good. Felt really moody during work. I woke up with a stomach cramp(?) I dont know if it's cramp actually. It's just that one part of my stomach that feels like it's been punched multiple times..

Xue Jun was working today and i know she's just trying to act fierce so i'm like not scared of her in a way. But she adds stress to all of us hahaha, i dont mind. That's what work's about~ Christopher's shift wasnt today but he still helped out most of the time. He was there from 11-1 then gone from 1-4 then back again from 4-6. Great help!!!! Without him, i think me and Aglin would have died by the stress Xuejun gave us.. Haha but i know she's a nice person actually. I see people straight through the heart *winks*

Usually, me and aglin will change behind the curtains after work. There's like this small area where we put our bags and stuff there. So Kelvyn's mom and xuejun were inside. All females, so both of us were like "who cares, we have what you also have what." So we changed on the spot. Then xuejun made a big fuss about it, saying how "OLD MINDED" she is. Yeah right HAHAHA. Kelvyn's mom helped us. Her hairstyle is so 21st century. That's my his mom told her. Aglin changed first, then followed by me. When i changed, Chris accidentally opened the curtain and i was like SHIT. Then xuejun made fun of me dotdotdot.

So i wore a tank top and some batwing top to cover my fats. It was kinda my first time wearing it and i was wondering why it feels so weird and irritating. I hate it when my tops choke my neck, and it was choking me. Chris noticed i was struggling with the damn top and asked, "Your first time wearing this?" "Yeah :o -continues adjusting the uncomfortable top-" "Oh i see alot of people wear this like that one -then he show me example LMFAO- you try." So i also follow him and i'm like what the hell i'm doing.... SERIOUSLY where got guys notice if its your first time wearing what clothes. LOL unique max.

Had a small chat before leaving the place. Usually if there's anywhere to lean, i'll lean. Somehow i leaned in a so called "sexy" way (i really dk how to describe but if you know me you know what i mean.). It's like already a habit. I don't know if it's even sexy. I describe it as sexy because of Chris LOL. At first Xuejun was at the swinging door area, then Aglin and Chris were outside and Kelvyn's at the cashier area. Suddenly Chris came in to do idk what and when he walked out, he was like "Wa like that very sexy leh." I didn't know he was talking to me until i realised he was beside me. Kelvyn's reaction was FREAKING FAST. It was because of Kelvyn that i realised Chris was talking to me.  Xuejun, as usual teased him. HAHA WHAT THE I WAS OBVIOUSLY EMBARASSED RIGHT.

Xuejun, Aglin and I stood outside the ITE and chatted for quite sometime. LOL seriously they make me so embarassed i need somewhere to hide my face. HAHAHA. & i'm like irritated at my age because of them!!!!! One 19 one 22 I AM FREAKING 17, WHICH IS STILL UNDERAGED FYI. When the majority is old, the younger one obviously loses out. At that moment i wished Chris was with me. CUZ HE'S 17 TOO!!! 2 VS 2 more fair right, tsk.

Had Burger King for dinner with Aglin at East point and then headed to SCAPE for dance. Danced to "Girl Gone Wild - Madonna" and let me tell you something, IT'S MAD AWESOMEEEEE. I love it. It's my genre, my thang. But well... I'm probably gonna follow Aglin to Lyrical Jazz tomorrow >< Nevermind it's still dance and it will still be fun!

I look forward to the next day everyday ever since i go work!!!!!!!!! Yayyyyyy, really wish i work on Mondays though :( Kelvyn told me that me and Aglin do not need to come on Mondays because there's Chris and Damien and him. I'm like "nyaaaaah.... :(" Major sad face. Hahaa... Nevermind hopefully i can go. I heard that Aglin's May schedule is kinda packed so i'm sure he'll be able to fit one more person on Monday, which is me in the counter righttttttttttt. RIGHTTTTT. Hehe.

Yay i'm loving life. There's just one more thing i wish it comes true. & that needs time... I just hope i won't make the wrong move, do the wrong things... *prays*

Work it out

I love my job!!!!!!! Seriously, today was another day of fun. Made many cups of bubbletea and i'm enjoying it!!! Keeps my mind off nonsensical things and I get free bubbletea everyday... HAHA. It'd be better if Chris was working though... More entertaining and more laughter. Haha. He wasn't working, he was schooling today. He dropped by the shop afew times. So only Damien, Aglin and I were working. Plus Kelvyn da boss of course. Damien was just, helpful, still. Not very entertaining, not very sociable.. LOL.

My thumb is kinda semi sprained. It hurts alot when i seperate/stretch my fingers. Don't know what happened. It was already like that since a week ago but i ignored it thinking that it'd get better. But ever since i started shaking bubble tea, it has gotten worse. -_- & i obviously dont know how to make it better, bleh.

On the way home, didn't felt so good. Found out some things that i shouldnt have. Gah, you know there are just those things where you would die to know and at the same time, better to not know. & now everytime i blank out, that few seconds of memory, few seconds of eyetalk keeps replaying in my head, like literally. I'm insane okay byebye.

Enchanting to meet you

HELLO!!!! It's a bright and awesome day today weeeeeeeeeee. It's my first day of work at Simei ITE's iTea shop. At first i was thinking that i'd get scolded for not remembering how to make the drinks. Then i realised the person who taught me how to make the drinks wasnt here today. Only 2 people plus the boss was there. I already saw them before. One of them is called Damien and the other, Christopher.

Quickly changed to our green polo and started working. At first i was obviously blur, but as time goes by, it got fun!!!! Christopher's a fun and friendy person. He keeps talking to me and Aglin. So we all got to know each other better. I realised he's my age.. LOL seriously he looks older than he is. Damien's helpful. Like when i dont know something, he'll help out, other than that he kinda isolates himself.. Then the boss! He's super nice and i'm so happy to work there. Hehe. I, don't care how much i'm gonna get paid now. I enjoyed my first day. :) But i think tomorrow's gonna be a little bit more stressed. Christopher and the boss, Kelvyn says one of the girls is very picky in everything. >< Gah girls..... Even though i'm a girl, i think girls are such bitches sometimes.. I wanna be a boy. -_- LOL.

Had dinner with Aglin and chatted. Yay i love chats ;)

Recently i've been conversing with people in Chinese!!!!! I think my Chinese language will totally improve after afew months. Hahahaa, usually people will give up trying to speak in mandarin because my mandarin is like almost totally fail. But the new people that i've been meeting lately just continues to converse in Chinese with me. So i'll just naturally speak in mandarin. Haha!! It's actually manageable, surprisingly~ Well.... Afterall my 2nd language is Chinese.

It's 10pm now. My post shall end here. I wish tomorrow will be a day full of smiles. Pretty pleaseee.... Everytime when i'm particularly happy for a day, the next day will be a tremendously sad day. SO PLEASE. May my day tomorrow be happy and entertaining and full of surprises. :)

Non-existent

Friday the 13th is just a bad/okay day. I obviously had a bad night considering what i posted way early in the morning. Then, i woke up 1hour late because my alarm decided to take decisions on itself and not ring. I got a freaking shock when i saw that the time was 8.20am because i was supposed to meet Aglin at SIMEI at 9.15am. Gosh... Hurriedly bathed and stuff. When i was about to rush out of the house, i realised my mom didnt leave me allowance. She told me she was coming back home from breakfast already and told me to wait so she could fetch me there. -Heaved a huge sigh a relief-

When i reached Simei, my stomach hurt like a bitch!!!!! I couldnt even walk properly. Went to find a toilet and camped there for so long. LOL. Waited for Aglin at the busstop and we went to Simei ITE to meet our boss. We're gonna be working at a bubbletea shop at the school effective from Monday onwards. :) You know what? Simei ITE looks like a very nice school. Like seriously.... The workers there were entertaining. Jotted down some notes that i needed to remember. There is ALOT to remember. The boss told us to try making our own bubbletea so we did. The number of orders were really overwhelming and that really stressed me out alot. Left the place at 12 because it was time to go meet my NYP orientation groupmates.

Headed down to Cityhall to have lunch with my groupmates, saw someone that i didnt know. Apparently he is Andre's secondary school mate. So yeah, kinda made another new friend today. After lunch, we went to find Jun Xiang because his phone had no battery and Andre told him to meet us at the MRT, so all of us assumed he'd stay there till we come find him. All of us got a shock because Andre, Junxiang and Anis were all wearing red checkered shirt, UNPLANNED.....

We played 2 rounds of bowling! The guys were really good... :( Andre and Junxiang especially. LOL Junxiang was like praising me how well i was bowling because I was the best among the girls. I'm like "........ then what kind of scores are those???? -points to the insane guys scores-" Well, did not bad for the first round but got worse for the second round cuz i wasnt concentrating anymore. After bowling, we played pool. Oh my god seriously i improved so much. I'm so proud of myself. Hahahaa. The thing is! I NEVER EVEN WON A SINGLE ROUND. I dont know, it's just not my day to win anything man. I was always left with the black ball or 1 ball. So I was left with a black ball in one game, and the opponent had like 3 balls left. I kept hitting the black ball, BUT IT JUST DIDNT WANNA GO IN. & there was another when both black and white balls went in. I'm like "shit la what's going on."

After pool, they wanted to go slack at Esplanade. It was about 7pm that time. I was already 100% dead no joke. 4 hours of sleep is not enough for me at all okay. So i decided to go home. On the way home, i thought i was gonna faint or something. -_- What the hell? I just had the very faint feeling, like everything around me started turning. But duh, i obviously got back home safely.

I think i'm gonna get something sinful to eat after writing this post. I'm just not feeling good at all. Actually, there is one Leo characteristic that I 100% agree on. "Leos love attention." I realised recently that when people gives me the shanette-doesnt-exist feel, i just get all moody and irritated and i just lose myself. Seriously...... I exist. Sigh i'm so big in size and everything, but sometimes i'm just like a transparent wall. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY AND HOW. When people think i'm invisible, i use the time to think why other people can have so much fun and laughter while i'm just sitting alone, feeling non-existent. I hate this feeling i hate this feeling I HATE THIS FEELING!!! I hate it when people compare me and someone else and that someone else has to be better than me. I feel overwhelmed. I feel like everyone doesnt like me WTS. I dont want MAJOR attention. I just wanna know that people know i exist. That's all lol. I've been feeling like this the whole day and I'm just in a fucking bad mood right now.

There will be more photos added over here once Andre posts it up on Facebook. Now, let's just deal with one just this photo because this was the only one which was taken by my phone.

Da checkered boyz

When i see this photo, i realised how well i can fake a smile.

Reflection

Well. So I guess this is another night of insomnia. It's currently 2:53AM SGT and I'm just stoning away. To put it in better terms, I THINK I'm reflecting on myself. Hmmm I think this is just gonna be one heck of a lengthy post all crapping about my life so, you can skip it if you aren't interested. I just need somewhere to pen my thoughts down and I decided here is obviously a good place.

Ok. I spent 3hours thinking and tweeting nonsense. My mind was overtaking my entire soul and body.

Aglin just sent me a video link of our dance routine. We recorded it down so we could see where's our mistakes and such. I saw the link, and I got depressed. Major epic fail. I don't know if the night mood is kinda affecting me but I'm sure how I look when I'm dancing affected my whole night. I know it's subconsciously affecting me. I feel it. What should I do? I really don't know. My left thigh muscle is hurting so badly I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIX IT.

Sunday's the competition. People who don't understand the true meaning of dance won't know how to appreciate our routine. Yes I admit I used to dislike watching contemporary dances or anything related to that genre. But that was the past. As time passes, my likes and dislikes start to change. I've started to appreciate the true meaning of dance art. Every contemporary move means something. How I dance portrays what kind of emotion I'm trying to show. So if I dance badly, it means I'm not listening to the music at all, and that is bad.

Recently, I've been talking to this new friend of mine whom I've made. He's been nice, encouraging me and all. Just a lil info about him, he likes club music and those sort of upbeat songs, my kind of songs. I know he can't appreciate dance. I told him I was going to Lasalle. All he could think of was whether I could choose to dance hiphop or contemp. If I'm going to an art school, obviously I'm doing something more technical, isn't it? In his head, I'm just a hiphop dancer and I'll always be COOL. C'mon guys, being a dancer is not about being cool. Especially to those who think knowing how to dance hip hop style is so cool. Even hip hop has its own dance names and basic moves that you gotta learn! It's not so easy as you guys think it is. No matter how i tell him dance is not only about hip hop, he doesnt get it. Sigh. Wait. I dont understand why I bother explaining so much to someone who doesn't appreciate. LOL. Hmmm that includes my parents. They don't like dance at all. Everytime they ask me about dance, they think IM FOOLING AROUND. No I'm fucking not.

You gotta accept the fact that dancing is also studying and it's not all about playing. I'm not playing with my life. It might not sound fun to you but to me it is. I get bruises everywhere. I get exhausted after afew runs of the whole item. But i enjoy every moment of it. Passion. Its the passion in me that keeps me going. I still got so much to learn. I want to be successful in the future. I HAVE TO. To prove them wrong.

I also know you guys have the mentality that ballet/contemp dancers have to be skinny and graceful looking. I know I can never achieve that. All I hope for is to look good when I dance. That's all. Honestly, Aglin's my inspiration. This lady who keeps saying how shitty her dancing skills are when I'm way worse. To me, dancers who knows dance techniques are better than dancers who have only groove. SHE HAVE BOTH. I'm lucky, really seriously extremely lucky to find someone like her whom I can click so well with (I know I've said it before.). It's just a miracle to me, to be able to feel close to someone I've known for barely a month.

Life just keeps going no matter how happy or sad I am. I need to move forward. Forget those useless crap, useless people. Remember important things, important people. Be happy as often as I can.

You know............ I can keep going on until it's 4am. LOL by then this post would have probably 10k words already :/ It's 3:26AM SGT now and I've gotta get up at 7AM SGT later! So, I think I shall hit the sack already. I hope you understand me better after this post. I know I don't have the ability to completely bring out how I feel in words but I guess you get the gist of it. Goodnight.

Somewhere out there

ALOHA. Woke up at 12pm this afternoon!! I didn't set alarm because i was meeting Aglin at 3pm. I knew i wouldn't oversleep so~~~ Heh. However, plans changed and we decided to meet up earlier. Reached Scape at 2pm and waited for her to come.

She kinda changed the whole dance. The moves are almost the same except now, we have a main character for both songs. If you didn't forget, i said we've combined 2 songs together; Blinded By Love & Rolling in the Deep. Kailin is the main character for the first song and i'm the main character for the second song. So now, i have like 4 eights of solo -jaw drop-

Now i think i don't want anyone to come down and see me dance. I dont have any confidence for this dance, especially for the first song. Argh i don't know. Hopefully i'll get it right tomorrow.

OH YEAH!! My Lasalle enrolment package finally came!!!

I am finally at ease. This kinda proves that they've really accepted me in. Hooray!!!~

The story behind this photo is just gay. I just accidentally snapped myself. When i looked at it, i realised it didnt look that bad, except for the fact that the angle is not that right.... But well~ I think i look happy. LOL.

I don't know why i'm saying this because i hardly say such things but, I'm in love with the song Talking to the moon by Bruno Mars lately. The tune is so melancholy-ish and the lyrics is just... 짱!

"I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away...

Talking to the moon, trying to get to you...

In hopes you're on the other side, talking to me too.

Or am i a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon?"

-Talking to the Moon, Bruno Mars

Happiness doesn't stay for good.

Day started out really bad from the moment i woke up. I just laid on my bed thinking where did all my happy cells from last night went. After i bathed, i couldnt decide what to wear out. Argh. After i decided, i realised my EZlink was missing once again. I seriously don't get it. I never even take it out of my bag yesterday. WHERE COULD IT HAVE GONE?! So i turned my whole room upside down just for that stupid card. Obviously, i couldnt find it and i started getting really mad. Then my mother kinda felt my angsty vibe and kept telling me to go to her, obviously gonna lecture me about how many times i've lost my EZlink. It's just annoying!! I dont need to listen to her crap. I KNOW I'VE LOST IT. End of story.

Went to NYP to drop off my withdrawal letter. Took so long... Headed to AMK to meet Jai. Aw she looks pretty hehehe *winks to Jai if you're reading this* Went to The Cathay. Initially wanted to watch Mirror Mirror but there was no timeslot available other than 3pm and 10pm. The Vow as well. We couldnt watch the ones at 3pm because Sasha haven't reached! Headed back to Plaza sing and there was a 4.55pm timeslot for The Vow, so we bought tickets for that.

Had Burger King for brunch. It was sooooo filling. Walked around the boring Plaza sing while waiting for Sasha to come. BUT! It was already 4.55pm and she still havent reached! Me and Jai went into the theater first, leaving her ticket with the person. Hmmm the movie was just so-so.... I thoought it'd be better.

Slacked outside Plaza sing till about 8pm and went back home. My father was angry with me. WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS ANGRY WITH ME WHY WHY WHY. I don't know what to say. I want a happy family. I want it so badly. I wished my parents had the ability to make me happy when i'm sad. They don't. When i'm sad, they can't expect me to say everything out right?! All i need is a companion, someone to make me smile. Is that so hard?

One of my newly made friends knew that i was sad and he was so sweeeeet. -Dies of diabetes NAH JK- It's something I hardly get from guys. Feels so good. Thanks new friend.

I'm gonna keep practicing my dance routine till i get it perfect by tomorrow, even if it means having my whole body aching like mad. I have to dance. MUST DANCEEEEE.

Why don't i feel like a girl? I feel like my sex appeal is damn low. I don't know why. I feel like i dont know how to act like a girl. I FEEL SO LOSER-ISH. I can't seem to do anything right. Nothing that i'm particularly good at and people be amazed of.... Sigh. I hate this. Hate the feeling of not knowing how to express my own emotions, own feeling. Why do i always get such irritating emotions!!

Blessed

I AM BLOGGING WITH AN EXTREMELY BIG SMILE ON MY FACE TODAY. I feel so blessed and happy and I hardly feel this way so i've decided to blog to keep this day a memory.

So initially, i was supposed to head to NYP to drop off my withdrawal letter. The sky then turned gloomy so i decided not to waste my time and money just for that. Mommy willing to drive me down tomorrow(apparently its today since it's already passed 12am.) so i shall just do it tomorrow.

Headed down to Hai Sing Catholic School, Aglin's sister's school, to show her dance instructor our dance. My first impression of him was just, oh. god. i. will. so. hate. you. if. you. were. my. dance. instructor. He's so direct and fierce and just reminds me of a PMS lady. I was just thanking god the whole time i was there how lucky i was to be Miss Shining's student for the past 3 years.

Me and Aglin left the school at about 5pm. I was feeling hungry because i didnt eat anything for the whole day. Hmmmm, wait does breakfast cereal count as something? Went to White Sands' MCD as both of us were lazy to think of what to eat. We were supposed to go Oschool to dance. But her stomach was feeling unwell so we decided not to go. 

Spent 3hours at MCD talking about so many things. Got to know her better~ Felt so happy that I've found a friend in Lasalle!!!!! It's just hard to find someone you can actually click with and WOW i'm just so lucky. Only 5 students were at the audition. 1 of them didnt get in. & i couldnt find any linkage between me and the other 2 girls. Plus i only had Aglin's number. Heh lucky me really.

Felt so good after a bath! Switched on my com, and this stupid old classmate of mine sent me a link of a scary face. It didn't scare me AT ALL, surprisingly. Sent to afew others who gave me hilarious reactions that i couldnt help but laugh under my mask. YES i was putting a mask. Been so long since i last wore a facial mask~

My right thigh muscle is aching really badly, LIKE REALLY BADLY. & it has GOTTA heal before Wed if not i cannot practice full out AND competition is on Sunday. Actually i think we won't win. Now that we've danced to it many times, there are afew gaps here and there in the dance routine and it doesnt make sense to me. Well, its ok. I just wanna experience being on stage again. Haha. I heard that there's this Most Supporters Award too. So yeah, whoever can make it down on Sunday, just come okay. Even if we're the worse group or something, just scream for us, will ya? LOL.

Venue: East Point Mall

Date&Time: 15th April 2012, 2pm-6pm

When you're happy, everything in the world suddenly becomes perfect.

Isolated

What a dreary Saturday. I woke up at 10 this morning. Rolled on my bed for about an hour and headed to the bathroom to bathe etc. Caught Gossip Girl and an episode of Fondant Garden. By the time i finished Fondant Garden, it was already almost 2pm. Father came home and kept disturbing me. He then started to talk to me about jobs etc again. Made me so furious.

I'm not gonna explain further. After so long of not crying, i suddenly just exploded today wtf. So yeah. I just slept my whole afternoon away cuz i had no mood to do anything else. Had dinner at 7plus and time flew so fast. It's already 10pm. Not in any mood to write anything. I've got many things to do next week. Gotta plan out my time now. So adios amigos.

Passionate

It was raining heavily early in the afternoon. Yes the moment it struck 12pm, it poured cats and dogs. I was supposed to meet Aglin and the rest at 12.30pm. Plans got screwed cuz of the rain. Met them at 1pm instead. Practiced the routine and formation and finished up the whole choreography till 4pm. I realised how empty my stomach was. I didn't eat anything at all from morning till 4pm. Went to buy Gongcha with Aglin.

Continued dancing till like 5.30pm. Decided to walk around somerset cuz we had to look for our costumes. We had ideas in mind but it was so hard to find. After walking till about 7pm, we got hungry. Went KFC to have dinner. Then bought the costume top at Uniqlo, and i went home while Aglin and her sis went to Bugis to find our bottoms.

Tiring day, but it was fun because i danced. ^^  

Just keep dancing

WASSUP Y'ALLLLL. I woke up at 10 this morning, awaiting for time to just pass. Headed down to NYP to get my withdrawal letter and then went to Somerset to meet Aglin.

I said in my previous post, that i might be in a dance competition, right? Yes it's decided. It's gonna be on the 15th April 2012. Weeee i'm excited. Our group name is D.T.F. It stands for Dance To Feel. & we have 4 members altogether. Today both me and Aglin were at Scape, outside Oschool, combining up songs and choreographing the dance. Her sister and her sister's friend came veery late. I swear it's so nice!!! I'm not exactly a very lyrical jazz person but I always love lyrical dances. Plus if i'm gonna be in Lasalle, i've got to get used to music that is soft. Heheh.

So i pretty much enjoyed the whole dance routine. In just a day, we're done with more than half of the song. We're combining Blinded By Love - Lenka and Rollin in the deep - Adele together. I love Rollin in the deep's choreography!!! Each of us has a 2 eight solo! & we've got partnering work too. It's just awesome man. There's just the 2 choruses of Rollin In The Deep that's left unchoreographed, and we're done!!

I finally got my hands on KHJ's Break Down Limited Edition album. There's only 10k of the albums and all of them were sold out the moment it was released. I was so sad.... But i went Gmarket to search of KHJ's stuff and I WAS SO LUCKY. Someone was selling a totally brand new limited edition album. Nyahaha now i'm one of the 10k. My number's 3750!!!! He looks so good during Break Down era....~ I know someone from my secondary school, that is also a fan of KHJ. CHEH irritating only. She. Will. Never. Be. Able. To. Get. This. Album. Hehoha.

Alright, for the final part of my post...... THE ORIENTATION PHOTOS!!!! All the photos below were the challenges given to us. "Take a photo infront of an mrt station." "Take a photo of all the members infront of a 24/7 store" ETC!!!! Totally ridiculous. Hahaaa. But i guess they just wanted us to have memories of the orientation. Quite a good trick eh? Hehe.

Climbing up this freaking tedious flight of stairs. & we were welcomed by a freaking disgusting lizard with all it's organs etc exposed.

A freaking abnormal challenge.

Instead of playing "Draw something", we played "Draw in a line".

We took so many rounds to guess the stupid drawing. All sunkissed.

Challenge: Take a photo infront of bus 265 with all the members in it.

Group Untitled!!!! This was taken on the waterbomb game day!!! Love that part of the day the most!

Actually i think there's afew more photos somewhere but it was not posted up on FB. So.... i shall just keep it as it is. Haha.

Guess i'll be heading to Scape again these few days since the competition is so near! Weeeee~

I ♥ DANCE.

Marvelous day!!!

I know my posts have been really extremely wordy these days and some of you won't even bother to read after this line, i apologise about that. I just love spamming words, can't help it.

I was lost when i first stepped into the space outside of NYP's Auditorium. Everyone was sitting in their assigned groups but there were no labels anywhere and i couldnt find my group mates. After looking around for almost 5minutes, i finally found them and sat with them till further instructions were given.

We had this monumental rush game from half of the morning till half of the afternoon. It was damn tiring. Try walking from Yio chu kang station to AMK station. & I don't mean just going through a shortcut or something. We got these challenges that we had to complete on our way. Eg. Taking photos of this place, that place, to prove that we've been walking. There were so many challenges and we kept walking at a very fast speed.

My group had lunch at AMK's MCD and saw many other groups over there too. I didn't want to eat, because my mom made me ate a very oily popiah in the morning. Plus i wasn't hungry. BUT they didn't believe me! This guy friend whom i've made friends with, named Junxiang, kept asking if i wanted to eat. I told him i wasn't hungry. "Poor ah?" LOL that was his response. I'm like LOLOL that comment's a first.. He then offered me his fries. Aw how nice. All i could think of was fats, so i rejected it. Then my group leader asked why i didn't eat. Blah it kept going on. They kept thinking i'd faint halfway if i didnt eat because we still had to walk alot after lunch.

After all those drama mama, we went to complete those nonsensical challenges and one of them was to take back an Old Chang Kee wrapper. The aunty didnt want to give us so one of us had to buy something. Leader knew i didnt eat and asked if i wanted to get anything. I'm like "fuck it's fatty." in my head.  BUT THEY KEPT ASKING SIGH..... So i had no choice but to say yes. She told me to pick what i wanted to eat and she paid for me. Oh my holy god, speaking of this.... I HAVEN'T PAID HER BACK. Oh god. Ok. OK....... So on the way, i ate it. They saw me eating and kept teasing me saying that i was actually hungry. I'm like "WHAAAAT..." I'm just trying to be nice right. They wanted the wrapper so i just eat la. LOL.

Reached back NYP at 3pm. Had a little chat with Junxiang about dance while waiting for the leader to transfer the pictures to the other leaders' computer. SEE, if there's a related topic to talk about, it'll be so much easier!!! At first, he was asking about my shoes. Like where i bought it from and stuff. I told him and he said he wanted to get one of those for dance. When i heard the word "dance", i'm like "ooooo! what dance do you do!" Haha. That's a really automatic reaction from me if i know of someone who dances~ So interesting to find out such things LOL. Dance turns me ON. Haha.

Ok after the wait, we headed into the auditorium and listened to the boring old man(director of my school.) crap about all sorts of nonsense which i honestly don't remember cuz i was sleeping half of the time. After his talk, the seniors took over the stage. They are just a bunch of entertaining, hilarious and spontaneous people~~~.... That's why i said i was jealous of the bond they have between each other. I was laughing 9/10 of the time man.

Orientation ended at 6pm with a buffet dinner. After that, headed to SCAPE to find Liqian. Dance dance dance~ It's been so long since i headed to Oschool to dance. The routine was fantastic. It's simple and sexy and weeeeeee~ my style of dance. Reached home at about 10.30pm.

I think i'm gonna be in a dance competition. This is so sudden and last minute. Oh my god I don't even know how's it's gonna turn out. I shall update this site with photos of my orientation and details about the competition tomorrow.

Going to Lasalle for the dance diploma is like going to a girl's school. LOL I won't be able to mix with guy friends :( I won't have guy friends sobs. Like i said in my past posts, sometimes guys can be so much more entertaining and it's something girls can't exactly do. You know what i mean, i know you do. I've got a friend from Lasalle, who's a guy, in some design course which i don't remember exactly. He once told me before that it was kinda hard to make friends from the other diplomas. I'm just like wow, I guess i'm fated to be in a group full of girls. Seriously, ever since secondary school, the people that i'm with are ALL girls. I'm like not used to it seriously, even up till now.

From p3-p5, the girls and the guys always played together and it was so fun. Then i transferred to Zhonghua during PSLE year. Still, my so called clique at that point of time had like MANY guys. Ok that's because my class only had like 12 girls if i didn't remember wrongly. My P6 group of friends only had 4 females including me, the extra one cuz i came into the school so late, and probably around 5 other males. Wow actually i don't even know. I guess we were very bonded. YEAH BOND. Oh my god after typing for so long i realised it was the bonding that's the problem. In secondary school there were too many cliques around!!! No bonds in classes at all. Hmmm ok, at least i know my class wasnt bonded at all. All we did was acted close bleh. No fun at all. Sigh. WHERE'S DA BOND YO. NO BOND = NO GAME = NO FUN = LIFELESS. CHEH come to think of it cliques are not exactly a good thing. It segregates us from our other classmates. No offense everybody. I'm just stating down my opinion.  

On the way to SCAPE, I was thinking why I would wanna reject NYP. I like photography and videography. Overall i liked the modules in my course. Fuck man i was actually considering for that few minutes after orientation that i might stay in NYP. I was thinking about all the good things in NYP for that few minutes.

1. Great seniors.

2. Foreign Bodies.

3. I get to loan a DSLR.

4. I might get to use that weird biggy camcorder/video camera thing that only professionals use.

5. Many exciting outings held by my course coordinator.

But then again, dance is my priority. I want that route of life. I've been fucking DREAMING about it and it's finally happening. How can i let a stupid orientation like this change my life. SIAO. I think again, why did i even go the orientation in the first place? Now so many people's adding me on fb like some crazy shit and I accepted those i knew. I'm just gonna be another stranger on their facebook list soon enough. Why did i accept them!? My brain's not thinking.

I just psycho-ed myself out of this dilemma. I like my seniors more than i like my coursemates. It's my SENIORS that's trying to change my mind, not my coursemates. & It's not like i'm gonna have lessons with my seniors right? I'm gonna have lessons with my coursemates!!! Some of them are just.... too weird. I just couldn't find anyone to click with that's why my first day of orientation sucked so badly.

I'm gonna go back to NYP tomorrow to get my withdrawal letter. Get it over and done with.

As for now, byebye.

Unclickables.

You know what? I'm FUCKING lazy to post this right now and there's nothing much to talk about my life, but i still am.

I went for the Nanyang Poly orientation yesterday, and today's the second day of it. On the first day, it was hella boring. It was all talks and ice breakers in the afternoon. The ice breaking games werent even fun. I'm like "why the hell am i here..." 1stly, I'm too jealous looking at how bonded the seniors are, like their group of friends are mixed with both sexes. I've never had such things in my life. I think i'm really a, male repeller. 2ndly, i couldn't find anyone over there that has similar interests as me or at least something in common that we can talk about. Lastly, it was just so dull and boring to conclude everything.  

I only had 3hours of sleep the night before orientation. I think i'm insane. -_- Totally drowsy and sleepy the whole day. & the food they gave was just so shitty, i decided to skip lunch.

Went home yesterday AND FELL ASLEEP AT 10!!!! It was exactly 10. I guessed i really had a concussion that day because after i slept, and dreamt, i woke up at 11pm. My phone rang, and i seriously thought it was my alarm clock. All my alarm clocks had different ringtone, so i didn't bother to remember how it sounds. I took my phone, saw the time, and got a shock. I thought i was dreaming. "Huh 11.20pm only!?" -Shakes my phone a little (I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I DID THAT?!)- Checked the time again, and it was still 11.20pm. I seriously PINCHED myself, cuz i still thought i was dreaming. Wtf i got issues man. LOL.

Today, the first half of the day was freaking boring. The teacher in charge of the course was like telling us about ground rules and such. God..... I really thank you for opening me another path to go. Had lunch(only ate the dishes, not rice.) and then we were split into a group of 7 among the WHOLE SIDM cohort, and again, i didn't know anyone. I hate this. I hate not being able to find anyone that i can talk to. We just can't click!!!! There were 5 girls including me, and 3 other boys. One of the girls looked like an innocent 14 year old school girl. & another one reminded me of one of my dance juniors which was kinda irritating and freaky. Another 2 was just.... i don't know. Both of them were already friends so i'm kinda left alone. One of them was very hyper, always taking everyone's attention. So i'm like once again, invisible. God HATE. THAT. FEELING. Then the guys..... nahz i shall not talk about that, i've got no comments. 

So this group of 7, we sat there for 1hour, thinking about a stupid cheer. Oh my god. So boring. Headed to the stadium there and that was where the fun began. Actually it was not exactly fun because i was not bonded with anyone at all. We played this game, that has water involved. Because 7 per group was a little too small, all of us joined with another group of 7. This other group of 7 were fun people. Thats because their Orientation Group Leader(OGL) was fun and mad hyper.

We were supposed to wrap one of the team members into a Mummy using toilet rolls and the other team members have to protect the mummy from getting wet. Some members have to go throw water bombs at other mummies, some defend people from throwing the water bomb. My group act smart ah. All decided to like hide the mummy so instead of her getting wet, ALL OF US GET WET. They didn't think that if we got wet, she'd get wet too!!! LMFAO. I guessed some of the seniors knew our tactic. At first, the water bombs felt pain enough cuz they hit it directly at my damn face. Then, i suddenly felt even more water like, someone was holding a water host and splashing at us. 

Blah, so i got super wet. Hair, body, clothes, legs, EXCEPT FOR MY SHOES. How amazing is that? I don't even know how. Haha. After the game, we just sat there and see the seniors have fun. Then i started thinking again, when i can ever experience such fun, joy and laughter, lol.     

I really lethargic to carry right now. All i know is that i wanna get over and done with tomorrow because i'm gonna be an awkward cow tomorrow with the 6 "teammates". Sigh. My same sentence, WHY AM I GOING??????? What the shit. Sorry i'm such a complain queen lolz.

Bye bye.